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*Check out the FEATURE ARCHIVES!!!* A Defense of Michelle Shocked By Wil Forbis Indie folk singer Michelle Shocked earned almost universal acrimony for a March 17 performance during which she seemed to condemn homosexuality. Is there more to the story than meets the ear? Where are the Nic-Fits? 03/01/13 By Johnny Apocalypse Johnny debates the pros and cons of tobacco and contemplates why, for once, his nicotine withdrawal has been painless. Unknown Spaghetti Westerns - Guaranteed 100% Clint Eastwood Free!!! 03/01/13 By John Saleeby In the 1960s Italy finally asserted its dominance over America by unleashing a torrent of violent, western cinema. Meet and greet some of these lesser known works featuring the talents of Lucio Fulci, John Saxon and... Ringo Starr? "That Obama Show" 02/01/13 By John Saleeby John unearths a secret script casting a youthful Barack Obama as the marijuana puffing exchange student in "That 70s Show." Tommy Chong blows his stack. Take Shelter Blake Shelton! 02/01/13 By Wil Forbis Country singer Blake Shelton recently put his cowboy boot in his mouth while insulting fans of traditional country. But did his words contain a grain of truth? The Flying Spaghetti Monster Will Save Us All 02/01/13 By Johnny Apocalypse Johnny explores the strange force field which seems to separate religion from humor. You can let him know what you think of it... WHEN YOU SEE HIM IN HELL! Martin And Lewis Are Funnier Than EVERYBODY!!! 01/01/13 By John Saleeby It's the duke out of the comedy duos as Saleeby contemplates the battle between Martin and Lewis (stars of The Colgate Comedy Hour) and Nichols and May. U R Not Unique 01/01/13 By Wil Forbis We live in a world of 7,000,000,000+ people, many armed with blogs, twitter accounts and Facebook pages. Has the struggle to define oneself as an individual become an impossibility? Music and Sound 12/01/12 By Wil Forbis Music must be comprised of sound, but can all sound be music? Were the first sweet notes of melody sung not by human voices but the animal world? Was rock 'n roll a direct response to mankind's industrialization? Come, let's explore these questions together. Ratt vs. Springsteen 12/01/12 By John Saleeby It's west versus east as John pits the hard rock maestros of the spandex 80s against the searching, soulful songwriter born of the 70s. Plus, why isn't Steven Van Zandt in Lynyrd Skynyrd? I Don't HAVE to do Shit! 12/01/12 By Johnny Apocalypse Johnny makes the point that few things in life are really mandatory. And why does everyone think he's a Trekkie? The Death of Counterculture 11/01/12 By Wil Forbis Has the American counterculture --- represented by the hippies of the 1960s and punks of the 1970s --- met its doom? How a Politician Can Get Re-Elected For Life 11/01/12 By Johnny Apocalypse Never eager to tackle politics, Johnny Apocalypse passes on the secret to political longevity. But will professional politicians be willing to take his controversial advice? "Wow! That Was Funny, Man!" A Look at Hippie Comedy 11/01/12 By John Saleeby John takes a look at the work of George Carlin, Cheech and Chong, and San Francisco's improv group The Committee and asks why hippie comedians can't all just get along? The Ethics of Judge Dredd 10/01/12 By Wil Forbis The new film 'Dredd' captures the grim, gritty world of British comic character Judge Dredd and prompts ruminations on how much a society should be willing to sacrifice to uphold the law. Ten Pictures of Thandie Newton 10/01/12 By John Saleeby In a brilliant and thought-provoking piece of found imagery, John contemplates man and his place in the universe. How a Politician Can Get Re-Elected For Life 10/01/12 By Johnny Apocalypse Never eager to tackle politics, Johnny Apocalypse passes on the secret to political longevity. But will professional politicians be willing to take his controversial advice? It's Time To Go To SLEEP!!! 09/01/12 By John Saleeby After shifting his sleep schedule around, John discovers that there's a whole new world out there! Philosophy of Language: We Have No Idea What We’re Talking About! 09/01/12 By Johnny Apocalypse Johnny goes head-to-head with philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein while trying to determine what words mean. That is, the meaning behind the meaning. Seriously. Johnny's Worst Movies of All Time 08/01/12 By Johnny Apocalypse "Johnny bemoans movies that lack plot, acting, believable screenwriting, sound and violence. Bro Support: the Advice Column That Puts Bros before Hos 08/01/12 By Wil Forbis Tired of chicks always getting the sympathetic ear? Acid Logic offers a new advice column that recognizes that, deep down, dudes are pretty sensitive. “The Incredible Hulk”, from Comics to Film 07/01/12 By Johnny Apocalypse The Incredible Hulk his made his way to the big screen more times than most Marvel superheroes. Johnny wonders whether we will ever get an adaptation true to the comic book. Multi-dimensional Scrabble 06/01/12 By Wil Forbis The acid logic science team investigates the possibility of expanding the Scrabble game across multiple dimensions. Can you spell in 4D? (If not, you're a loser.) Dark Truths: Science in the Era of H.P. Lovecraft Part 2 05/01/12 By Wil Forbis How did the science of H.P. Lovecraft's era, particularly astronomy and cosmology, affect his writings? Six Awesome Songs You Haven’t Heard 05/01/12 By Johnny Apocalypse Johnny argues that some of hard rock's best tunes might have escaped your radar. He mines the work of AC/DC, Jethro Tull and others for hidden gems. Dark Truths: Science in the Era of H.P. Lovecraft 04/01/12 By Wil Forbis Pulp author H.P. Lovecraft penned stories of cosmic entities sowing evil and mortal men damned by their DNA. How did the science of his era affect his writings? Herschell Gordon Lewis: Master Of More Than Gore 04/01/12 By John Saleeby Humorist John Saleeby looks for the grand unifying vision in two underappreciated works by the original auteur of severed heads and spurting viscera. Living in a Musical 04/01/12 By Johnny Apocalypse Why can't you walk into a room, burst into song and find yourself joined in harmony by everyone around you? And why is Johnny stalking Chris Isaak? "Godzilla" Versus "Godzilla, King Of The Monsters" 03/01/12 By John Saleeby Erudite cinephiles are doubtless aware that the classic Raymond Burr vehicle "Godzilla, King of the Monsters," was produced by splicing newer English-language footage into an older Japanese monster film. Which one is the true Godzilla? Saleeby investigates. Four Films Set in Hawaii 03/01/12 By Wil Forbis Inspired by the success of The Descendents, a former inhabitant of Honolulu takes a look at several Hollywood films set in the island locale. Do they capture the 'real' Hawaii? The Greatest Word in the English Language 02/01/12 By Johnny Apocalypse During one of his frequent excursions through Wikipedia, Johnny Apocalypse discovers the mother of all English words. And it's not "snaggletooth." "Dawn Of The Dead" Versus "Zombi" 02/01/12 By John Saleeby In the 1970s, Italian horromeister Dario Argento offered up Zombi, a recut version of George Romero's classic Dawn of the Dead. Saleeby compares the two versions in all their head slicing, flesh chomping glory. More Literature in the Style of "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" 02/01/12 By Wil Forbis The best selling mashup novel mixed existing literature with scenes of zombie mayhem. A new series of books takes the concept to the next logical level. "What The Hell, I'll Direct The God Damn Movie!" 12/01/11 By John Saleeby While committing to take the reins for the rudderless "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" movie, Saleeby contemplates modern pop culture. Apocalypse on Christmas: the Snowmen of Doom 12/01/11 By Johnny Apocalypse It's a Christmastime tradition! Johnny Apocalypse offers another poetic pontification on everything Christmas is about: violence, destruction and death. The Essentials of Essentialism By Johnny Apocalypse 11/01/11 Having trouble telling when a kitten becomes a cat? Not sure when a hill turns into a mountain? Johnny Apocalypse contemplates the essential properties of any object. Fuck Zombies 10/01/11 By Johnny Apocalypse Humorist Johnny Apocalypse is so sick of zombies that if he sees another decaying hand ripping a living human heart out of a person's chest, he's going to barf. "Birdie Num Num! Ha Ha! I said 'Birdie Num Num'!" By John Saleeby 09/01/11 Saleeby ruminates on the career of British rock singer Glenn Hughes. And Virginia Madsen. And Foghorn Leghorn. And Alex Chilton. And Napoleon. What the Hell is Outside the Universe? By Johnny Apocalypse 09/01/11 Johnny finds his brain bedazzled by notions of space beyond infinity. He is forced to to turn to the source of explanations of all unknowable mysteries: Yahoo Answers! Random Thoughts from a Plane to Alaska 08/01/11 By Johnny Apocalypse Johnny experiments with free association writing, leading to profound observations about the buttocks of a nearby stewardess. And some other stuff. Review: Isoball 06/01/11 By Johnny Apocalypse Online videogame fanatic Apocalypse takes a look at the virtual construction game Isoball. The Anxiety Diet 06/01/11 By Dr. Wil Forbis* Looking for a way to shed some pounds? Find out how to worry your weight away! * Not actually a doctor. Our Wacky Brain: What is Creativity? 05/01/11 By Wil Forbis Acid Logic examines the ethereal concept of creativity, looking both at its implementation in the brain and the practices of famous creators such as Brahms and Picasso. Let’s Stop Reproducing! 05/01/11 By Johnny Apocalypse Kids --- they're charming little buggers once you get past the incessant screaming, crying, vomiting, pooping and kicking. Johnny contemplates a home vasectomy. Let’s End the World! 03/01/11 By Johnny Apocalypse Short of a few highlights like coffee, Fettuccine Alfredo and The Exorcist III, Johnny Apocalypse finds the modern world sorely lacking. He proposes several ways of amending the situation. Our Wacky Brain: Making Sense of the Senses Part 2 03/01/11 By Wil Forbis The acid logic exploration of the labyrinthine brain continues. Our sensory organs provide multiple views of outside world. How does the brain unify this into a singular experience? Our Wacky Brain: Making Sense of the Senses Part 1 02/01/11 By Wil Forbis Continuing the official acid logic look at the weird and wacky brain, we turn a learned eye to the five senses. How does information enter our eyes/ears/nose etc. and make its way to the cavernous cortex? And will pheromones destroy your marriage? "Face To Face With Death And Wishing I Had Brushed My Teeth" 02/01/11 By John Saleeby Even while on his deathbed, Saleeby can't win. Thank God Lil' Wayne has come by to help! Our Wacky Brain: What is Morality? 01/01/11 By Wil Forbis The acid logic series exploring our strangest organ continues. Does our brain alter our body state to influence our moral behavior? And what happens when the process goes bad? To the Chimp Cave! 01/01/11 By John Saleeby After rediscovering his long-lost comic collection, John decides that Sergeant Rock wasn't all that hot. He certainly couldn't compare to the simian genius of Bobo, the Detective chimp! Overrated 01/01/11 By Johnny Apocalypse You can keep your Kubla Khan, your Mona Lisa and your Rolling Stones. Johnny prefers to get off his rocks with melting clocks. Our Wacky Brain: What is Emotion? 12/01/10 By Wil Forbis A new series of articles exploring the lubricated folds of the human brain starts off with a rumination on the nature of emotions. What sensations are you really feeling as you flee the angry bear who has climbed into your apartment? John Saleeby Predicts the Future Yet Again!? 12/01/10 By John Saleeby It has been six long years since Saleeby last cast his eyes to the heavens and prophesied about mankind's future. What new sage gems of wisdom will spring from his lips? Apocalypse on Christmas: Revenge of the Elves 11/01/10 By Johnny Apocalypse Johnny's curse laden, expletive filled poems about the Christmas season have become a holiday tradition around here. Twice he has killed Santa; how will he fair against an onslaught of elves? Two Options Aren't Enough 11/01/10 By Johnny Apocalypse Choosing between Democrats and Republicans is driving Johnny batty. What about a a political party for Ninjas? Or cannibals? Meet Your Friendly Neighborhood Psychopath 10/01/10 By Spoiks What do Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy and the contributors to acid logic have in common? They are all psychopaths! What behaviors do they exhibit? And can they be treated? Uncle Jimmy's Easter Sunday Shooting Spree 10/01/10 By John Saleeby Saleeby looks at the 1975 murder of the Ruppert family by son and sibling James, a disturbed and nitpicked gun enthusiast. The Zodiac- It has Nothing to do with Astrology 10/01/10 By Johnny Apocalypse Johnny examines the case of the infamous Zodiac killer, contemplates the maniac's possible identities, and comments on several films based on the murders. Good Graphics Will Ruin Video Games 09/01/10 By Johnny Apocalypse Johnny misses the days of Super Mario Brothers and Yar's Revenge, when imagination and plot trumped the need for a high-end video card. Should Have Stayed In The Army And Gotten Killed In Iraq 09/01/10 By John Saleeby Saleeby contemplates his 50th birthday and the damning effect it will have on his sex life. Should he order a mail-order Asian bride? Writer's Block 08/01/10 By Spoiks Perennial provocateur Spoiks argues that the Internet has unleashed a wave of meritless mediocrity upon us. The End of Rock Criticism? 07/01/10 By Wil Forbis As neuroscience slowly reveals that our taste in music is outside of our control, the end nears for the objective argument utilized by rock critics such as Lester Bangs and Robert Christgau. Kiss Vs. The Beatles 07/01/10 By John Saleeby Who would fare better in open warfare? The team of Paul and Gene or the pair of John and Paul? And let's not forget the elusive Ringo factor. I've Got Your Oil Spill Right Here 07/01/10 By Johnny Apocalypse Johnny's got enough to worry about without having to solve the Gulf oil crisis. Lady Gaga VS. Ke$ha 06/01/10 By Wil Forbis As modern technology reshapes the art of pop music production, two femme fatale's go head-to-head on the Billboard charts. Justin Bieber Has Already Destroyed Pop Music 05/01/10 By Wil Forbis The 16-year-old wunderkind reigning over the pop charts purports to be ghetto when he couldn't taste more vanilla. And he's destroying the archetypes of modern music! Unappreciated Babes: Historical Edition 05/01/10 By John Saleeby, Johnny Apocalypse and Wil Forbis For years, the good people at acid logic have brought to your attention lesser-known beauties deserving of a second look. But what about the potential consorts lost to the dustbins of history? What about the Other Side of the Story? 05/01/10 By Johnny Apocalypse Public service announcements condemn smoking, shooting up and just plain shooting. Johnny demands equal time. Mothers: Society's Greatest Evil! 05/01/10 By Spoiks Wait! Before you take up that offer milk and cookies, contemplate the malfeasance of the modern matriarch. Alex Chilton - Don't Tell a Soul 04/01/10 By John Saleeby Shhh! Saleeby is determined to keep the career of the king of power pop a secret. Avatar Vs. District 9 03/01/10 By Wil Forbis Two recent science fiction films are preparing to battle it out for Best Picture. But they have more in common than they'd like to admit. There will be Tits By John Saleeby 03/01/10 John decries the Hollywood machinery that denied in 1972 Best Picture Oscar to "Conquest of the Planet of the Apes." St. Peter's Waiting Room Part III By Tom Waters 03/01/10 On vacation, Tom continues drinking and gorging his way across Florida. But he pauses at a flea market to discover the soul of America. The Complexities and Exuberances of Time Travel 03/01/10 By Johnny Apocalypse You might have presumed that Johnny had given up on his plan to create a time machine out of a lawnmower parts and a watch. You were mistaken. Is Barack Obama the Blaxploitation President? 02/01/10 By Wil Forbis Did the onslaught of Shaft and Superfly in the 70s lead to the election of Barack Obama in 2008? St. Peter's Waiting Room Part II 02/01/10 By Tom Waters Tom's vacation memoir continues with palatable exotic stones, reclusive Kentucky fried chicken and Catwoman. And booze of course. Lots of booze. St. Peter's Waiting Room 01/01/10 By Tom Waters Tom and his new wife visit his parents in Florida for an orgy of tobacco, alcohol and gastrointestinal delights. Chronicles of a Shit Magnet 01/01/10 By Johnny Apocalypse Johnny Apocalypse just wants to be left in peace. But if you screw with him, you'll face the dreaded "arm bar." Apocalypse after Christmas 12/01/09 By Johnny Apocalypse Why it's getting to be a Yuletide tradition! In a new Christmas poem, Johnny releases a barrage of gunfire in his all-out war with St. Nick. Pronunciation 12/01/09 By Tom Waters The big day has arrived: Tom Waters has gotten married! At what point will his new bride realize the horrible mistake she's made? “That Hotel is a Dump and your Monopoly is Pathetic!” 11/01/09 By Johnny Apocalypse Ah, the sweet simplicity of a board game on a summer day. Johnny demonstrates the ruthlessness needed to win at the Parker Brothers classic and clarifies when not to call in sexual favors. Literati 10/01/09 By Tom Waters Tom delivers his magnum opus on the plethora of science fiction, true crime, biographical and horror tomes spilling off his bookshelves. I Don't Know What to Write about By Johnny Apocalypse 10/01/09 Johnny wrestles with the greatest fear a writer faces: the blank page. Can he commit ink to paper before the Forbis goons appear? The Divine Pop Comedy: Elton John’s Last Three Studio Albums 8/01/09 By Tom Waters In a book excerpt, Tom takes a look at the trio of albums the prodigious pianist released during the 2000s. What did Michael Jackson do? 6/01/09 By Wil Forbis Reflections on the end of the reign of the King of Pop. Boxing: It Has Little to do with Cardboard 6/01/09 By Johnny Apocalypse Johnny analyzes the enduring appeal of the greatest sport and defends its inherent brutality. Susan Boyle, Amy Winehouse and The Politics of Performance 6/01/09 By Wil Forbis The success of Susan Boyle, the least glamorous chanteuse in human history, prompts thought about what we as an audience seek from our entertainers. Oral Technique 6/01/09 By Tom Waters After years of wielding the author's pen, Tom is making the tricky transition to talk radio host. Confessions of a Metalholic 5/01/09 By Wil Forbis What secret ties bind together1980s heavy metal, existential philosophy and Mickey Rourke's "The Wrestler"? Plus, learn to spot "gay metal." The Golden Age of Hearing Loss 5/01/09 By John Saleeby Aerosmith! Queen! Van Halen! Saleeby reminisces on classic concerts by the great metal bands of the 1970s. Tom and Twig 5/01/09 By Tom Waters Bad teeth and all, Tom turns out to truly be his mother's son. When Metal Was Young 5/01/09 By Johnny Apocalypse Have Black Sabbath, Deep Purple and Wishbone Ash been written out of your music history books? Johnny fixes the record. Survey of the Heavy Metal Bands of My Youth 5/01/09 By Wil Forbis Tesla, Great White and Zodiac Mindwarp and the Love Reaction were once the cat's meow. Have they stood the test of time? Review of "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" 5/01/09 By Jane Mihn Is the latest entry into the X-Men franchise even worth downloading? Even Torture Has Its Downsides 4/01/09 By Wil Forbis Can a visit to a kitsch museum in the back alleys of Amsterdam spark an honest discussion on the merits of torture? Clint Eastwood Can Blow Me! 4/01/09 By John Saleeby John views Clint Eastwood's recent historical drama "Changeling" and concludes that the great director has fallen from grace. Also mentioned: King Kong versus the giant spiders. The Department of Goofing Off 4/01/09 By Tom Waters Freshly released from the toils of daytime servitude, Tom rails against the DMV-like ineptitude of the US Department of Labor. Interesting Questions 4/01/09 By Johnny Apocalypse Can another nation steal Canada's name? Can our ethical code be summed up in a single slogan? Johnny asks the questions the mainstream media won't! Braddah Obama 3/01/09 By Wil Forbis Did the challenges of a youth spent in Hawaii helped develop Barack Obama's canny political ability? Christmas Stocking Stuffer DVDs '08! 3/01/09 By John Saleeby John tallies up his Christmas loot and waxes philosophically about the best Lutheran stop motion animation show in the known universe. Thoughts On The Flight 3407 Plane Crash… 3/01/09 By Tom Waters A native of Buffalo, Tom responds to the recent tragic plane crash and ruminates on the role the media will take in covering it. A Review of "Slash" 1/01/09 By Wil Forbis The recently released autobiography by the former lead guitarist of Guns N' Roses reveals all the chaos, debauchery and insanity that made the band a monster to be contended with. Also: why it's best to not share your groupies with Izzy Stradlin. Reviewing Politicians 1/01/09 By Johnny Apocalypse How do some of our recently elected officials fare when reviewed with the same critical eye that we cast upon our movies, our music and our television shows? Not well at all, my friend, not well at all. Pussy Magnet 1/01/09 By Tom Waters An admitted dog person, Tom is slowly being won over by the charms of the feline species. Letter to Clients of Tumwater and Dowbringer Financial Services 12/01/08 By Wil Forbis As the world financial system teeters on the brink of collapse, the erudite leadership of one of America's most respected financial institutions offers this advice: it's only going to get worse! Double-Barrel Diplomacy 12/01/08 By Tom Waters Tom may be forced to tolerate his Canadian neighbors to the north, but he doesn't have to like it. Apocalypse on Christmas 12/01/08 By Johnny Apocalypse Why aren't there more Christmas poems featuring cigarettes and automatic pistols? Bring on the Monkeys 11/01/08 By John Saleeby Its three movie reviews in one as Saleeby considers recent comedy classics "Electric Apricot," "The Trailer Park Boys," and "Postal." Sawed-off Sam Walton 11/01/08 By Tom Waters Tom contemplates the horror of a life spent in retail hell. 26 Years of My Bullshit By Johnny Apocalypse Johnny recounts his life as a caffeine addict, crime fanatic and philosopher and turns out to be a pretty interesting guy. Just don't vote for him. World War Z 10/01/08 By Wil Forbis How does Max Brooks's collection of first-person accounts of the zombie Holocaust make flesh eating ghouls scarier than they've ever been on film? By taking them seriously. Beer & Foaming At The Mouth On The Campaign Trail 10/01/08 By Tom Waters Wanna hear something really scary? Tom Waters is getting married! He's a Nasty Son of a Gun 10/01/08 By John Saleeby John recalls the heyday of the horror host including such beloved broadcasters as Doctor Creep, Vampira, Ghoulardi and Morgus. And introducing: SCHIZO AND COLOSTOMO! Batman, Iron Man and the Incredible Hulk Walk into a Bar... 08/01/08 By Wil Forbis The summer of the superhero blockbuster is upon us. Can the latest attempts to translate comic book characters to the big screen cut the mustard? I'm Not Paying $50 for a Hamburger! 08/01/08 By Johnny Apocalypse Johnny Apocalypse announces he's cheap and the world replies, "How cheap is he?" Read the article to find out. Frank Miller Can Blow Me! 08/01/08 By Tom Waters Tom contributes to the acclaimed acid logic series of media criticism by targeting the comic book legend behind "The Dark Knight" and "Sin City." "The Thing" versus "The Thing" 07/01/08 By John Saleeby It's a monster movie face-off as Saleeby pits the Howard Hawks' classic "The Thing from Another World" against "John Carpenter's The Thing." Quiet Time Or Else 07/01/08 By Tom Waters Tom finds his efforts to find a little peace and quiet constantly foiled by the appendages of modern society. Why Nirvana Blows 06/01/08 By Wil Forbis In his first selection from his in progress book on the grunge years, Wil defends his refusal to join the cult of Cobain. On Spec 06/01/08 By Tom Waters Tom contemplates on how form and format affect the fuel that the writer depends on for inspiration. One Sentence Movie Reviews 06/01/08 by Johnny Apocalypse Johnny soliloquizes single sentence synopsi of such movies as "Sudden Impact," "Eyes Wide Shut" and "Night of the Comet." Day of Our Deaths 05/01/08 By John Saleeby While reviewing the remake of George Romero's "Day of the Dead," John proffers the theory that horror criticism has reached the same neglectful stage as rock criticism did in the 1970s. Then he gets distracted by Mena Suvari in a thong bikini. Perpetual Estrogen 05/01/08 By Tom Waters After living with a woman for almost four years, Tom has started to notice a few things about the fairer sex. Mainly that they're crazy. A Few Goals in My Life 04/01/08 By Johnny Apocalypse Johnny lays out a few of his aspirations for life including driving cross-country with his knees and catching the Zodiac killer. Reviews of Records I Never Actually Listened to 04/01/08 By John Saleeby Panic at the Disco. The Raconteurs. Bob Mould. John doesn't need to listen to 'em to know what he's talking about. Underwear on the Outside 04/01/08 By Tom Waters Some people shoot up. Some people smoke crack. But Tom has a serious habit: comic books! He takes pause from his addiction to review the good and the bad. A Few Facts of Life 04/01/08 By Johnny Apocalypse Johnny offers a few hearty truths, like "the only thing banana flavored that's any good is bananas," and "nature does not like us." Paul Reiser's The Thing About My Folks 03/01/08 By Lujane Crotch Lujane reviews a movie by the Maestro of "Mad about You" and still finds time for several child molestation jokes. Creationism and the Quick Ban 03/01/08 By Tom Waters Tom comments on the strange habits of writers and takes a look back on his career. Meet the Blaxploitation Superheroes!!! 02/01/08 By Wil Forbis In the 1970's as "Shaft" and "Foxy Brown" raged on screens, Marvel Comics populated their universe with super-soul brothers like Luke Cage, The Black Panther and the Prowler. Why It’s A Good Idea Not To Taunt Your Cuisinart 02/01/08 By Tom Waters In the eternal battle between man and machine, Tom concedes defeat. The Flower People 01/01/08 By Stardumb Whoa man - trip out on the first ever Acid Logic music video! It'll get you grooving to a whole new age of aquarius. But What About "The Wasp Woman"? 12/01/07 By John Saleeby Step aside, Kubrick. Hit the skids, Tarentino. John peruses the latest box set of Roger Corman films and crowns the b-movie auteur king! Butch and Tom 12/01/07 By Tom Waters Break out the bourbon on the rocks -Tom is turning into his father. But maybe that isn't such a bad thing. Politics, or How to Lose Your Mind by Choosing to Vote 12/01/07 By Johnny Apocalypse Just in time for the election cycle, Johnny tackles the foibles of a political system that drives him up the wall. Best Laid Nervous Breakdowns 10/01/07 By Tom Waters Say it ain't so! The king of the gentleman bachelors, Tom Waters, is taking the plunge! The Acid Logic Guide To Squeamish Jew Humor 09/01/07 By John Saleeby Learn to riff in the style of Woody Allen, Ben Stiller and Jerry Seinfeld! Written by a professional (non Jewish) comedian. Cherry Trees & White House Interns 09/01/07 By Tom Waters Tom puts forth the case that honesty is the best policy. No, seriously! The Acid Logic One Hundred Best Movies Of All Time List (100% Spielberg-Scorsese Free) 08/01/07 By John Saleeby Tired of reading top 100 movie lists that don't even contain a single George Romero film? Saleeby sets the record straight. Form of.. A Spoon 08/01/07 By Tom Waters The end is nigh! Tom's libido has taken a backseat to cuddling and conversation. Unrecognized Guitar Gods 08/01/07 By Johnny Apocalypse Johnny gives Steve Howe, Buck Dharma and Dweezil Zappa the shout out they deserve. Hey, what's Gary Richrath (REO Speedwagon) doing here? The Feminist Politics of Hostel II 06/01/07 By Wil Forbis The latest Eli Roth horror spectacular has been denounced by alarmist movie critics as misogynistic torture porn. But does a more nuanced analysis reveal a different set of politics? Mama, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Into Fat Gamers 06/01/07 By Tom Waters Who will mourn the modern video game nerd's slow waddle towards extinction? Certainly not Tom. Keith Richards Can Blow Me!!! 06/01/07 By John Saleeby John uncovers the secret plot by the boomer generation to crown Keith Richards king. But is it too late to save Lindsey Lohan? Dear Mahmoud05/01/07 By Jon Gagas Jon Gagas returns to our pages and offers a plea to the other power-mad, fundamentalist dictator of our times. Johnny ApocalypseAnswers his Mail 05/01/07 By Johnny Apocalypse Johnny defends his acid logic output from internet critics, porn spam-masters and our own editorial staff. The Problem Video Games Cause 04/01/07 By Johnny Apocalypse Drug use? Childhood obesity? Homicidal urges? Don't blame me, ma, blame Donkey Kong! Aw, Big Deal About Scarlett Johanson!! 04/01/07 By John Saleeby What happens when John Saleeby melts a Creature from the Black Lagoon mask to his face and opens for Rascal Flatts? Not what you'd think. Well, maybe exactly what you'd think. Breaking the Audience's Bond 04/01/07 By Katharine Coldiron Katharine applauds Daniel Craig's "new" James Bond but longs for Roger Moore's bad puns and cheeky mirth. 8 Simple Rules For Doing Something With Your Life 04/01/07 By Tom Waters Put down the crack pipe, pull up your pants and listen to Tom's sage advice on how to obtain gainful employment. Lights! Camera! Crazy Women Biting Guy's Dicks Off!! 02/01/07 By John Saleeby We all assumed Saleeby couldn't get any crazier. When will we learn? Investigating the Unexplained 01/01/07 By Johnny Apocalypse Johnny gets up close and personal with UFOs, the Lock Ness Monster, ghosts and Bigfoot. No Wonder Lennon Was Such a Miserable Prick 01/01/07 By Tom Waters Are you filled with hope at the start of a new year? Let Tom's rage at a society of stinking, ignorant masses let the air out of your basketball. Know Your Friendly Neighborhood CIA Agent 01/01/07 By Seana Sperling Seana recalls her adventures in the Peace Corp and the onslaught of Central Intelligence. News from Around the World 12/01/06 By Johnny Apocalypse Vikings protest at the U.N.? Death arrested? A cure for cancer? Johnny reports from the edge of unreality. Predators and Editors 12/01/06 By Tom Waters Tom applies the nine rules of myspace. Don't miss the shock ending! A Higher Power 11/01/06 By Max Burbank Max Burbank returns to contemplate the voices in President Bush's head in this elegantly rendered comic strip. Avoiding the Devil in Your Daily Life 11/01/06 By Johnny Apocalypse Bryan provides a laugh rich guide on how how to avoid the devil in his many guises... like celery, the music of the Police and "Great Expectations." Comics that Made Me Shit My Pants 11/01/06 By Wil Forbis It's not "Comics that Made Me Kill My Parents," or "Comics that Made Me Worship Satan," but just "Comics that Made Me Shit My Pants." Martin Scorsese Can Blow Me! 10/01/06 By John Saleeby Just in time for "The Departed," the new acid logic takedown series continues with a look at the acclaimed gangster director. Slip Sliding Away 10/01/06 By Tom Waters Tom struggles with the onset of dementia as his mind dissolves into a series of tiny little islands. Dean Koontz Can Blow Me! 09/01/06 By Wil Forbis A new acid logic feature debuts with a takedown of the king of schlock fiction. Bizzaro Acrophobia 09/01/06 By Tom Waters 'How's the weather up there?' Tom stands up tall for the vertically augmented. The New York Dolls For Beginners!!! 07/01/06 By John Saleeby You think dig the Dolls? Saleeby breaks down the history of the world's prettiest all male rock group. My Computer Can Beat Up Your Computer 07/01/06 By Tom Waters Tom takes a look at the mysterious contraption that has spent the last twenty years plugging its way into the home of every American family. Romance Tales for Average Folks 06/01/06 Wil Forbis Why can't modern love be everything it's cracked up to be? Movies I Hate (that Everybody Else Loves) 06/01/06 By Johnny Apocalypse Johnny digs into beloved classics like "2001," "Blade Runner," and "Thelma and Louise" and steels himself against the likely armed backlash. Unfriendly Skies 06/01/06 By Tom Waters Tom rates the modern airport experince and finds that it licks balls. Still More Unappreciated Babes 05/01/06 By John Saleeby and Wil Forbis Acid Logic peers into the windows of such love dolls as Christina Cox, Asia Argento and the Hotties of HotMail! Seven Sleep Disorders of Highly Effective People 05/01/06 By Tom Waters Why can't Tom catch some ZZZZ's? Is it the nicotine, caffeine, alcohol, sex or all of the above? The University Survival Guide 05/01/06 By Bob Cluely Bob passes on advice gleaned in the world of "higher" education. Apartment From Hell By Wil Forbis What's it like to share an apartment building with Charles Manson, "Hideously Burned Man," and a gigantic, armed and angry book lover? Butch and Twig By Tom Waters Tom ruminates on his aging parents and their wild and crazy ways. Conspiracy Theory: The World's Finest News Source By Johnny Apocalypse Bryan takes a look at everything from Roswell, New Mexico to the WTC towers. Replete with juicy links for your own research. The Saleeby Chronicles Continue By John Saleeby Saleeby takes a look at the delusional world or Lorne Micheals and the High Time's Channel's Original Motion Picture, "The McCartney Code." Straight or High Movie Reviews As told to Wil Forbis Some movies require a bong hit while others demand sober concentration. Our crack team takes a look at everything from Hostel to Brokeback Mountain. '70s DVD Revelry By John Saleeby Making up for lost opportunities, John reviews three films he never saw as a kid: The Hills Have Eyes, The Crazies and The Driller Killer. Shaft By Johnny Apocalypse Johnny takes a look at the first hero of blaxploitation and pronounces him ultra funky after all these years. Try Not To Think About Gun-Toting Elephants By Tom Waters After years spent floating in the liberal world of independent newspapers Tom releases his inner conservative. Dense Macabre By Tom Waters Tom compares the state of splatter films to video games and ruminates on the connection between comedy and horror. Of James and Bondage By Johnny Apocalypse Johnny contemplates the prospect of a blonde Bond and compares him to "Funny Bond" "Ass-Kicking Bond" and "Ugly Bond." Hollywood Notes: Interview with King Kong 12/01/05 By Wil Forbis The great ape stops by to spill the dish on working with Peter Jackson, his long friendship with Godzilla and his views on Iraq. Pot Roast for the Soul 12/01/05 By Tom Waters Whoda thunk it.... Tom Waters is cooking his own food!? And doing quite well at it from what I hear. Doctor Longhair's Reviews of Movies that Don't Exist 11/01/05 By Wil Forbis Itching to see the Kirsten Dunst porno or the latest from Bobo the Wonder Chimp? Doctor Longhair gives you the goods. I Don't Wanna Go On With �What Did You Want On That?' 11/01/05 By Tom Waters Tom lays down the rules of etiquette for the American drive through. Tattoos and Their Vicissitudes 11/01/05 By Robert Cluley Robert contemplates the big questions related to inkwork - where, what, and how much! I Bin Ein Blogger 10/01/05 By Robert Cluley Blogging has become the latest fad for self obsessed, socially underdeveloped egomaniacs. But is there a dark side? The Saleeby Chronicles 10/01/05 By John Saleeby Diane Lane, Cindy Sheehan and Bobby Brown all make a stopover in John Saleeby's questionable consciousness. They Don't Make Actors Like They Used To 09/01/05 By Johnny Apocalypse Johnny ruminates on Lee Marvin, Steve McQueen and the tough guys from a bygone era. Electric Tough Guy Land 09/01/05 By John Saleeby Ever wondered what would have happened had Jimi Hendrix made Elvis style adventure films? Sure you have. No... really... It'd be a hoot! Cool Hand Highway Superintendant 09/01/05 By Tom Waters Tom takes a cool and collected look at the challenges of driving in Buffalo, New York. On Being a Large, Land-Based Mammal 08/01/05 By Tom Waters Tom contemplates the eating habits that causes his belly to expand and collapse on schedule. London Calling, Says 'Hello' 08/01/05 By John Saleeby While the America media screams and snivels about the 7/7 subway bombings, the British just go about their business. Because they don't, you know, suck. If They Can't Take a Joke 08/01/05 By Tom Waters As Tom awaits the arrival of his latest book he pontificates on his previous publishing "successes." Doctor Who: The Old Versus the New 07/010/05 By Johnny Apocalypse Doctor Who has survived death, cancellation and 26 seasons on BBC. Johnny gives the Who legacy a once over. Speak Now Or When You Get Around To It 07/010/05 By Tom Waters For how long can Tom put off the impending doom - of marriage? Johnny Cash 06/010/05 By John Saleeby Stripping away the idol worship, Saleeby looks at the Cash legacy. Complete Text Of Laura Bush Speech At White House Correspondents' Dinner 06/010/05 By Max Burbank Searching for a complete transcript of Laura Bush's infamous dinner remarks? Max delivers the goods. Marvin Gaye’s Answer: Peak Oil 06/010/05 By Cody Wayne Cody examines the apocalyptic nature of our current reality. As a Writer 06/010/05 By Tom Waters Tom rails against big screen authors who write themselves into their work. Today's Top Stories, Ingested, Regurgitated And Reinterpretted 05/01/05 By Max Burbank Max Burbank returns to AL and promptly goes all Dada on our ass! The Great Email Scandal of 2032 05/01/05 By John Saleeby In the future, acid logic publisher Wil Forbis is poised to become President. Can John Saleeby head off this disaster? The Professor Visits the Red States 04/01/05 By John Saleeby What would cause a blueblood Cambridge Professor to travel to the heart of Red America? Only the Lord Byron of our age - Jeff Foxworthy! You Can't Put Your Arm Around a Memory 03/01/05 By John Saleeby Can the film feud between rockers Def Leppard and Metallica be healed by the Duff McKagen "Hug-o-Love"? Monkey See, Motley Crue 02/01/05 By John Saleeby As the Crue plan their reunion tour, Saleeby ruminates on swimming pools filled with vodka, 'punking' Vince Neil and the content of the Kurt and Courtney sex video. How To Be a Tough Guy 12/16/04 By John Saleeby Hey milquetoast! Listen up as John plunders Hollywood's greatest action films for tips on turning yourself into an ass-kicking mofo. More Unappreciated Babes 1216/04 By Wil Forbis and John Saleeby For too long entertainment amazons like Kiran Chetry and Megan Mullally have gone unloved and unnoticed. John Saleeby Predicts the Future... Again! 12/01/04 By John Saleeby Find out what's in store for eHarmony.com, the War of the Worlds remake and President Sean Hannity! *THERE'S MORE IN THE FEATURE ARCHIVES!!!*	CHECK OUT THESE ADDITIONAL ACID LOGIC FEATURES CATEGORIES!


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