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We don't let the facts don't get in the way! A ForbistheMighty.com production


All columns are written by Wil Forbis

  • What is Crazy? 09/01/15
    Is there a clear dividing line between sanity and insanity? Or do we all exhibit behaviors that could be classified as crazy?


  • What's the Deal With Acupuncture? 02/01/14
    Acupuncture is an oft-discussed but little understood treatment for a variety of maladies. Does it work? One man recounts his experience.

  • The Dark Side of D.I.Y. 12/01/14
    The Do It Yourself ethos empowered a generation of a musicians, artists and filmakers. But has the pursuit of indie purity taken a toll?


  • The Death of Private Life 06/01/14
    Donald Sterling, Michelle Shocked, Michael Richards and others were caught on tape saying things that damned them in the eyes of the people. Is the next public shaming going to be yours?


  • Where Should Horror Go from Here? 05/01/14
    Mainstream horror films have lost their way lately. To get back on course they need to explore the distinct fears of the modern age.


  • My Beef with the News 01/01/14
    As recommended activities go, reading the news is right up there with eating your vegetables. But is the modern news media doing more harm than good?


  • The Psychology of Facebook 09/01/11
    Can the complex machinations involved in human interaction and social hierarchy explain the success of Mark Zuckerberg's social network?


  • Reflections on a Failed Music Career: Why Play Music?08/01/11
    Why do musicians perform live? And what causes the subtle but distinct pleasurable body high that accompanies a good performance?

  • Reflections on a Failed Music Career: Do Looks Matter? 02/01/11
    No one can deny that a rock performer's looks will have a great impact on their career. How does this obvious truth coexist with rock music's egalitarian philosophy?


  • Reflections on a Failed Music Career: Making Money from Music 10/01/10
    With the music industry in shambles, it seems more difficult than ever to make money writing original music. Do any of the new ideas enabled by the Internet hold promise?

  • Reflections on a Failed Music Career: The Politics of Being in a Band 09/01/10
    Contrary to popular culture, the politics of being in a musical act are anything but easy.


  • Reflections on a Failed Music Career: The Music Scene 08/01/10
    In order to succeed in the music biz, a band needs to dominate their local music scene. But what drives this strange and complex social hierarchy?

  • Reflections on a Failed Music Career: Keep It in Context 07/01/10
    Want to be a rock 'n roll star? The murky cultural forces that steer an audience towards or away from your music might be outside of your control.

  • Reflections on a Failed Music Career: The Bucket List 06/01/10
    Can the magic of a successful rock band be reduced to a cold, impartial matrix of data points?


  • The Care and Feeding of a Music Genre 04/01/10
    The corpse of jazz is exhumed and examined for indicators as to who its murderer may be. Who takes the blame? The audience or the musicians?

  • Nippleclamps and Beethoven 01/01/10
    Is bad music equal to bad sex? And why is a boring lover a lot like "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star?"

  • The Devil Paints 11/01/09
    As evolution rewards the skills of deception, is it also creating great artists?


  • Fear of a Dead Planet 09/01/09
    The 1980s seemed to be a decade where signs of the impending nuclear Apocalypse hid behind every corner. Yet it was also a period imbued with a curious optimism.


  • The Birth of the Social Marketplace 11/01/08
    Perhaps the greatest contribution the Web will make to human advancement is the ability to enumerate a person's value to society.


  • You Think You're a Good Person? You're Not! 07/01/08
    By Wil Forbis
    How will you be judged by history? Probably as poorly as we judge the denizens of our past.


  • The Epicurean Quality of Life (a Defense of Hedonism) 05/01/08
    Despite the admonitions of nannying naysayers, some of life's best moments are lived in sin. The art to life is finding a balance between the pleasurable and intellectual.


  • Portrait of the Artist as a Young Slob
    What makes all these sensitive artist types think they're so special? And why do we keep indulging them?


  • My Power Crystals Are the Source of My Power! 09/01/07
    Giving up your seat in the coveted 18 to 34 advertising demographic can seem like the end of a dream. Or is it a door to newfound freedom?

  • Searching for the Moral Directive in "The Watchmen"
    08/01/07
    In Alan Moore's classic "The Watchmen" graphic novel, crime fighter Rorschach struggled with the consummate ethical dilemma: Does morality even exist?


  • The Acid Logic Guide to Europe 02/01/07
    Thrill to the living dead of Pompeii! Swoon at the unspeakable beauty of Grecian nymphs! Hey, where's the McDonalds?


  • A Word from our Publisher 01/01/07
    Pause to reflect on 2006 and the bounty it brought forth: video on demand, Global Warming and monkeys!


  • Stop or I'll Shoot this Koran 06/01/05
    What causes men to place religious text above their own well being?


  • My Living Will 04/01/05
    The passing of Terri Schiavo has caused a lot of us to seriously look at how we would like to be treated if we fell into a vegetative state. But not Wil Forbis.


  • Fisting Fisking Myself 03/01/05
    As the Iraq War winds into its third year, Wil Forbis must admit the unthinkable: Janeane Garafalo was right!


  • Mother Nature's a Whore! 01/16/05
    In light of the "natural" genocide of 150,000 people, the egalitarian nature of both the Christian God and benevolent Mother Earth appears suspect.


  • Holy Shit! It's 2005! 12/16/04
    My how this decade is passing us by!


  • How Democrats Can Win Every Election Ever 11/16/04
    What's a Democrat gotta do to win an election around here?


  • Which Presidential Candidate Would You Like to be Stuck in a Car With for Three Days? 08/01/04
    Forget foriegn policy concerns or talk of stimulating the economy. Here is the real test to determine which man gets your vote.
  • Hello, Kitty 06/16/04
    Keep your attention focused on teenage bosoms. You just might learn something.

  • Haole Survival Guide 04/16/04
    Growing up in the racial stew of Honolulu will land you in more than a few hot spots. But hindsight offers perspective.

  • The Ten Best Articles of 2003 03/16/04
    2003: The year of the Iraq invasion, the Howard Dean candidacy and these ten gems.


  • The Passion of the Christ: The Sequel 03/01/04
    Hear the movie pitch that's got the bigwigs of Hollywood scrambling for their checkbooks.


  • A Little Worcestershire Sauce and You'll Be Fine 01/16/04
    By all accounts, pigs are some of the smartest, friendliest creatures around. So why can't I stop eating them?

  • Confessions of a Furry 10/01/03
    All I want is to be loved... by a six foot tall man wearing a kangaroo costume.

  • Americana Splendor 09/16/03
    Americana is a genre of music that defines itself by its past, harking back to the twin deities of Hank Williams and the Rolling Stones. But can it get you laid?


  • Uber-Blondes Have More Fun 09/01/03
    Over the past five years, cable television has unleashed a steady stream of right-wing uber-blondes. Be very afraid!


  • From Punks to Punk'd 06/01/03
    The current programming on MTV gives a sly nod of approval to streetwise rebellion and celebrity comeuppance.


  • The Tricky Math of Moral Calculus 05/01/03
    The war on Iraq has created a new kind of math problem: How many innocent people have to be saved to justify the innocent people killed?

  • Shock and Awe (and a Couple of Giant Lizards Thrown in for Good Measure) 04/01/03
    Is it wrong to laugh at the pain and suffering of the Iraqi people? Probably, but let's do it anyway.


  • A Devil of a Problem 03/02/03
    Does the new "Daredevil" movie hold up to the character's comic book adventures as penned by the legendary writer/artist, Frank Miller?

  • In Defense of FOX NEWS 02/16/03
    Left wing commentators say viewers of the Fox News channel are being brainwashed. Why don't they start up a brainwashing channel of their own?

  • Ten Best Acid Logic Articles of 2002 01/16/03
    Tensions mount. Palms start to sweat. I humbly announce the best articles from the past year.

  • How to Die in Three Easy Steps 09/16/02
    After a 30 year smoking habit, Warren Zevon is dying of terminal lung cancer. And he can live with that.

  • Farewell Doris Wishman 08/16/02
    Cult filmmaker and Acid Logic icon Doris Wishman passed on recently. Will she hold hold true to her promise to "make films in hell?"

  • One Nation, Under DOG 07/16/02
    Instead of arguing the merits of one form of the Pledge over another, we should be talking about eradicating the whole damn thing!

  • Five Reasons FRIENDS Ain't for Fags 07/01/02
    Holy Bad Alliteration Bat-Man! The comedy hit loved by Pa and Ma America gets a sterling defense.

  • The Breast Years of Our Lives 06/01/02
    Torn from today's headlines: a case study of the romantic affairs that can occur between teacher and student.

  • Year of the Ozzy 05/01/02
    With his new MTV sit-com, rocker Ozzy Osbourne climbs to the top of pop culture. Suddenly the tables are turned on smarmy, know-it-all music critics.

  • But Genocide Has Such a Nice Ring To It! 04/01/02
    Everyone agrees that city panhandlers are a problem. Where we disagree is on the solution.

  • Where's My Vagina? 03/01/02
    Women... if you can't beat 'em, surgically remove your genitalia and join 'em!

  • Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Bush? 02/01/02
    As we get further away from September 11, things are getting back to normal in America.... unfortunately.

  • Ten Best Acid Logic Articles of 2001 01/01/02
    As promised, the previous year's content is scrutinized for the coveted "Best of 2001" award.


  • A Terrorist By Any Other Name... 12/01/01
    Used to be that the worst thing you could to do to a person is label them a Nazi. But thanks to September 11, the word "terrorist" is given new bite for the political attacks of the day.

  • Grease Your Bacon 11/01/01
    Trapped on a Greyhound to nowhere, the opportunity arises to defend the defenseless against the charges of the worst form of animal husbandry.

  • Ectoplasmic Ecstasy 10/16/01
    A look at the new film drawn from Dan Clowes' "Ghost World" comic book.

  • The Healing Power of Dead Baby Jokes 10/01/01
    Is "gallows humor" simply humanity at its worst? Or another way people grieve in times of tragedy?

  • Marky Mark is a Very Bad Man 9/01/01
    Mark Wahlberg has denigrated homosexuals and once took out a man's eye with a hook. Why can't he can't get the credit he deserves?


  • Xena Ain't the Only Amazon 8/01/01
    Close examinations of the inner workings of Amazon.com reveal a lot about picking books off shelves, and packing them in cardboard boxes.

  • Telecommuting on the Road to Nowhere 7/01/01
    Telecommuting was supposed to free the American work force. In reality it simply transferred the hatred and disgust we used to feel towards coworkers, to our family.


  • Nothin' But a G-rated Thang 6/15/01
    When nephew Spike comes to visit, the newly released Harvard School of Public Health report on tobacco and alcohol in children's films is put to the test.


  • The Electric AC/DC Test 5/15/01
    The ever changing landscape of heavy metal and alternative music is scoured for souvenirs.


  • I Don't Take Sorries 4/15/01
    A now slightly irrelevant analysis on the art of apologizing to the Chinese.


  • My Date with the Bush Twins 4/01/01
    Things get "mad crazy" as I chill with the current Baberaham Lincolns of the political scene!


  • Hug a Gay Eminem for Jesus 3/15/01
    Eminem has survived organized protests, police arrests, and a duet with Elton John. Can he survive an Acid Logic column?


  • A Free Car, A Burrito Tattoo And Thou... 3/1/01
    Advertisers will stop at nothing to saturate us with their messages. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.


  • Three's a Crowd 2/15/01
    The advent of cloning leads to the possibility that we can create an unlimited amount of self duplicates. Yet some people still say that's a bad thing?


  • Iíve Grown Accustomed to His Face 2/1/01
    I kick off the Acid Logic Inauguration issue with a stirring tribute to departing President Clinton set to song.


  • I'm Tired of Christian Bashing, Part II 1/15/01
    Upon examination of the great social movements of the last 100 years one finds a curious impetus: Religion.


  • We Don't Serve Droids in Here 12/31/00
    The effect of technology on human interaction is humorously analyzed.

  • In Defense of Charlie's Angels 12/16/00
    The Charlie's Angels film is defended from the vicious attacks of cruel movie critics.


  • Stop or I'll Shoot! (Heroin) 11/15/00
    A humorous and comical look at the drug war that has imprisoned hundreds of thousands of Americans and punished our South American allies.


  • Kill, Kill, Rock and Roll 11/1/00
    Rock and Roll has been the defining music for the past three generations of Americans. Is it finally time to call it a day?


  • My Scariest Dream 10/15/00
    Just in time for Halloween, my most hair raising visitation to dreamland is retold.


  • it's funny how... 9/30/00
    The plight of the North American tortured artist is examined.


  • Undressed for Success 9/18/00
    Welcome to the first ever Acid Logic theme issue, with the current topic being the messy subject of lustful, carnal relations. MTV's Undressed, pornography and sex education are all examined in this column, with the candor you've come to expect from Acid Logic.

  • Bar Grudge Match 9/1/00
    On the main drag of Seattle's Capitol Hill, two bars eye each other suspiciously, fingers itching for their six guns.


  • How Jerry Springer Reclaimed My Childhood 8/17/00
    The Jerry Springer Show shines the light on American dementia, sexual perversity and midgets.


  • Naptime For Napster? 7/30/00
    Is it finally curtains for the file sharing software? An analysis of the art of accruing free music without shoplifting.


  • The Devil and Davy Jones 7/13/00
    Average looking guys like myself are always taunted by good looking, charming pretty boys who take our women, and worse, our beer. The epitome of such Romeos is The Monkee's Davy Jones. Let's fix him, but good.


  • Britney Spears VS Eminem for the Title of "Ruler of the Universe" 6/28/00
    Sometimes I see Britney Spears as a pop music princess, sometimes I see her as a talentless whore. And some days I see Eminem as the last great rapper, other days he's a misogynistic asshole. Which is which...?


  • Baseball Caps and Padded Bras 6/15/00
    While ruminating upon several recent conversations, I'm reminded that the human race is still vainly protective of its physical flaws. Ahh... if only I could relate.

  • Fear Me for I Have the Power to Destroy You 5/25/00
    With each passing year I become more aware of the fact that every generation must watch the fruits of its culture destroyed by its sucessors.

  • Herbie, the Love Virus 5/10/00
    Was the Love Virus simply the obnoxious prank of drippy nosed hackers? Or was it sent from the heavens to fulfill a deep, spiritual need?

  • The Goth/Metal Manifesto 4/30//00
    For years hard rock and goth music have stood in opposite corners, eyeing each other suspiciously. Can they be brought together by a little thing called love...satan?


  • Adolph Hitler Was an Alien (or, The Case Against MP3s) 4/13//00
    After reading this you may say, "This has nothing to with Adolph Hitler or aliens, it's simply a long winded rant against the MP3 music format!" But look deeper, my friend. The truth is not always obvious.


  • Death To the Multi-Talented 3/30/00
    Don't you just hate people who can do things better than you? Or worse, who people aren't as good as you, but get more attention. Let's hate them together.

  • Yet Another Acid Logic Column 3/9/00
    It finally happened: I ran out of things to say. So I thought I'd write about that.
  • Notes From the Road 2/11/00
    My recent train trip across the southwestern part of the United States provided many musings. I'm collecting them here for your enjoyment.
    • Man or Pokemon - After boarding the train in Austin I was confronted by a Pokemon weilding youth. It led me to many revelations about the state of toys in America.
    • Making Friends on the Train - The fun continued as I conversed with a variety of individuals posing as sane.


  • The First Rant of the Millenium 1/11/00
    Since it turns out the world didn't end I suppose I should celebrate with some positive words. But then I wouldn't be me.

  • The Bigger the Better 11/27/99
    Can you divide the love of large women along the racial line? Or are we all being subjected to more brainwashing from Madison Avenue.


  • Let's Hear it for Genetically Engineered Foods! 11/4/99
    Continuing with my food theme, I address the weighty matter of genetically altered fruits. (And I'm not talking about Michael Jackson.)

  • Mustard: The Forgotten Condiment 10/18/99
    Ahh, mustard... the sexiest of all sandwich dressings.

  • The Protocol of E-mail 10/7/99
    Letter writing is alive and well on the Internet. And that's both good and bad.

  • Smile, Youíre on Voyeurcam.com! 9/2/99
    There's a new kind of Candid Camera in town. And it involves lots of sweaty, naked men.

  • Star Wars: The Phantom Menace - What Went Wrong? 8/14/99
    We may never move forward as a society until this question is answered. Fortunately, I have answered it. Feel free to begin worshipping me.

  • Other People's Misery 8/2/99
    A wise philosopher once said, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going." The rest of us just snivel and moan.

  • Evening at Club Rock-Za 7/15/99
    No matter where you go in the world, strip clubs are all the same.

  • The Hidden World of Airports 7/4/99
    It's only after years of airline travel I've come to see airports for what they really are: a paranoid, violent, sexual shagfest.

  • Girls Against Boys 6/13/99
    The battle of the sexes starts out on the playground and continues up to the nursing home. Can't we all just get along?

  • All the President's Women 6/2//99
    I feel totally lame having to do this but I simply ran out of time trying to come up with a column for this issue. Thusly I'm presenting a "classic" Acid Logic from the early days of the Clinton scandal. However, trust me, this one's pretty funny, I just read it. So sit back and return yourself to a time when you actually had friends saying "I really don't think he had sex with that women, Monica Lewinsky."

  • Potential Star Wars Disappointments 5/15/99
    It could be the greatest film ever. But what if...

  • Acknowledging Some of the Lesser Known Y2K Issues 5/3/99
    What is needed in the current Y2k debate is a sound and learned voice. Once again you're stuck with me.

  • Spider-Man, We Hardly Knew Ye 4/11/99
    Comic Book characters have always had a rough translation to film. This article analyzes the causes of this national embarrassment.


  • Anyone For Flaming Teletubbie? 3/20/99
    They're happy, they're friendly, they're loved by children worldwide... therefore they're perfect targets.

  • Make Love To Your Television
    The only bumpersticker more annoying than "Perot '92" are those "Kill Your Television" ones. This article denigrates this new form of political activism.

  • Examining Alternate Forms of Punishment for Clinton 1/15/99
    Another Clinton article. Probably outdated by the time you read this but worthwhile nonetheless.

  • The Effects of Clinton-Vision 2/7/99
    One of many articles taking the serious subject of impeachment and reducing it to comedy-fodder.

  • Keeping Up With The Jonesboros
    An amazingly cold-blooded (I was quite proud of myself) and humorous article about the Jonesboro massacre and the roles we expect of children.

  • My G-G-Generation
    Being that the "Generation X" label will haunt me for the rest of my life, I thought I'd put this down.

  • Please Let Me Kill You Pt. 2
    A sequel to an article I did a few years ago, this one focuses on various scum who preach "Revolution" while driving to work in a BMW.

  • I Love Barney
    No tricks or hidden messages. This really is about my love affair with the Purple one.



   
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