All columns are
written by Wil Forbis
- The Psychology of Facebook 09/01/11
Can the complex machinations involved in human interaction and social hierarchy explain the success of Mark Zuckerberg's social network, Facebook?
- Reflections on a Failed Music Career: Why Play Music?08/01/11
Why do musicians perform live? And what causes the subtle but distinct pleasurable body high that accompanies a good performance?
- Reflections on a Failed Music Career: Do Looks Matter? 02/01/11
No one can deny that a rock performer's looks will have a great impact on their career. How does this obvious truth coexist with rock music's egalitarian philosophy?
- Reflections on a Failed Music Career: Making Money from Music 10/01/10
With the music industry in shambles, it seems more difficult than ever to make money writing original music. Do any of the new ideas enabled by the Internet hold promise?
- Reflections on a Failed Music Career: The Politics of Being in a Band 09/01/10
Contrary to popular culture, the politics of being in a musical act are anything but easy.
- Reflections on a Failed Music Career: The Music Scene 08/01/10
In order to succeed in the music biz, a band needs to dominate their local music scene. But what drives this strange and complex social hierarchy?
- Reflections on a Failed Music Career: Keep It in Context 07/01/10
Want to be a rock 'n roll star? The murky cultural forces that steer an audience towards or away from your music might be outside of your control.
- Reflections on
a Failed Music Career: The Bucket List 06/01/10
Can the magic of a successful rock band be reduced to
a cold, impartial matrix of data points?
- The Care and Feeding of a Music Genre 04/01/10
The corpse of jazz is exhumed and examined for indicators as to who its murderer may be. Who takes the blame? The audience or the musicians?
and Beethoven 01/01/10
Is bad music equal to bad sex? And why is a
boring lover a lot like "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star?"
- The Devil Paints 11/01/09
As evolution rewards the skills of deception, is it also creating great artists?
- Fear of a Dead Planet 09/01/09
The 1980s seemed to be a decade where signs of the impending nuclear Apocalypse hid behind every corner. Yet it was also a period imbued with a curious optimism.
- The Birth of the Social Marketplace 11/01/08
Perhaps the greatest contribution the Web will make to human advancement is the ability to enumerate a person's value to society.
- You Think You're a Good Person? You're Not! 07/01/08
By Wil Forbis
How will you be judged by history? Probably as poorly as we judge the denizens of our past.
- The Epicurean Quality of Life (a Defense of Hedonism) 05/01/08
Despite the admonitions of nannying naysayers, some of life's best moments are lived in sin. The art to life is finding a balance between the pleasurable and intellectual.
- Portrait of the Artist as a Young Slob
What makes all these sensitive artist types think they're so special? And why do we keep indulging them?
- My Power Crystals Are the Source of My Power! 09/01/07
Giving up your seat in the coveted 18 to 34 advertising demographic can seem like the end of a dream. Or is it a door to newfound freedom?
- Searching for the Moral Directive in "The Watchmen"
In Alan Moore's classic "The Watchmen" graphic novel, crime fighter Rorschach struggled with the consummate ethical dilemma: Does morality even exist?
- The Acid Logic Guide to Europe 02/01/07
Thrill to the living dead of Pompeii! Swoon at the unspeakable beauty of Grecian nymphs! Hey, where's the McDonalds?
- A Word from our Publisher 01/01/07
Pause to reflect on 2006 and the bounty it brought forth: video on demand, Global Warming and monkeys!
- Stop or I'll Shoot this Koran 06/01/05
What causes men to place religious text above their own well being?
- My Living Will 04/01/05
The passing of Terri Schiavo has caused a lot of us to seriously look at how we would like to be treated if we fell into a vegetative state. But not Wil Forbis.
Fisting Fisking Myself 03/01/05
As the Iraq War winds into its third year, Wil Forbis must admit the unthinkable: Janeane Garafalo was right!
- Mother Nature's a Whore! 01/16/05
In light of the "natural" genocide of 150,000 people, the egalitarian nature of both the Christian God and benevolent Mother Earth appears suspect.
- Holy Shit! It's 2005! 12/16/04
My how this decade is passing us by!
- How Democrats Can Win Every Election Ever 11/16/04
What's a Democrat gotta do to win an election around here?
- Which Presidential Candidate Would You Like to be Stuck in a Car With for Three Days? 08/01/04
Forget foriegn policy concerns or talk of stimulating the economy. Here is the real test to determine which man gets your vote.
- Hello, Kitty 06/16/04
Keep your attention focused on teenage bosoms. You just might learn something.
Growing up in the racial stew of Honolulu will land you
in more than a few hot spots. But hindsight offers perspective.
- The Ten Best Articles
2003: The year of the Iraq invasion, the Howard Dean candidacy and
these ten gems.
- The Passion
of the Christ: The Sequel
Hear the movie pitch that's got the bigwigs of Hollywood scrambling
for their checkbooks.
- A Little Worcestershire Sauce
and You'll Be Fine
By all accounts, pigs are some of the smartest, friendliest
creatures around. So why can't I stop eating them?
of a Furry 10/01/03
want is to be loved... by a six foot tall man wearing a kangaroo costume.
- Americana Splendor
Americana is a genre of music that defines itself by its past, harking
back to the twin deities of Hank Williams and the Rolling Stones. But
can it get you laid?
- Uber-Blondes Have
Over the past five years, cable television has unleashed a steady
stream of right-wing uber-blondes. Be very afraid!
Punks to Punk'd 06/01/03
The current programming on MTV gives a sly nod of approval
to streetwise rebellion and celebrity comeuppance.
- The Tricky Math of
Moral Calculus 05/01/03
war on Iraq has created a new kind of math problem: How many innocent
people have to be saved to justify the innocent people killed?
and Awe (and a Couple of Giant Lizards Thrown in for Good Measure) 04/01/03
Is it wrong to laugh at the pain and suffering of the Iraqi people?
Probably, but let's do it anyway.
- A Devil of a Problem
Does the new "Daredevil"
movie hold up to the character's comic book adventures as penned by
the legendary writer/artist, Frank Miller?
- In Defense of FOX NEWS
Left wing commentators
say viewers of the Fox News channel are being brainwashed. Why don't
they start up a brainwashing channel of their own?
- Ten Best Acid Logic
Articles of 2002
mount. Palms start to sweat. I humbly announce the best articles from
the past year.
- How to Die in Three
a 30 year smoking habit, Warren Zevon is dying of terminal lung cancer.
And he can live with that.
- Farewell Doris
filmmaker and Acid Logic icon Doris Wishman passed on recently. Will
she hold hold true to her promise to "make films in hell?"
- One Nation, Under DOG
of arguing the merits of one form of the Pledge over another, we should
be talking about eradicating the whole damn thing!
- Five Reasons FRIENDS
Ain't for Fags 07/01/02
Bad Alliteration Bat-Man! The comedy hit loved by Pa and Ma America
gets a sterling defense.
- The Breast Years
of Our Lives 06/01/02
from today's headlines: a case study of the romantic affairs that can
occur between teacher and student.
- Year of the Ozzy
With his new MTV
sit-com, rocker Ozzy Osbourne climbs to the top of pop culture. Suddenly
the tables are turned on smarmy, know-it-all music critics.
- But Genocide Has Such
a Nice Ring To It!
agrees that city panhandlers are a problem. Where we disagree is on
My Vagina? 03/01/02
if you can't beat 'em, surgically remove your genitalia and join 'em!
- Who's Afraid of the
Big Bad Bush?
we get further away from September 11, things are getting back to normal
in America.... unfortunately.
- Ten Best Acid Logic Articles of 2001
As promised, the previous year's content is scrutinized
for the coveted "Best of 2001" award.
- A Terrorist By Any Other Name...
Used to be that the worst thing you could to do to a
person is label them a Nazi. But thanks to September 11, the word "terrorist"
is given new bite for the political attacks of the day.
- Grease Your
on a Greyhound to nowhere, the opportunity arises to defend the defenseless
against the charges of the worst form of animal husbandry.
- Ectoplasmic Ecstasy
A look at the new
film drawn from Dan Clowes' "Ghost World" comic book.
- The Healing Power
of Dead Baby Jokes
humor" simply humanity at its worst? Or another way people grieve
in times of tragedy?
- Marky Mark is a Very Bad Man
Mark Wahlberg has denigrated homosexuals and once took out a man's
eye with a hook. Why can't he can't get the credit he deserves?
- Xena Ain't the Only Amazon
of the inner workings of Amazon.com reveal a lot about picking books
off shelves, and packing them in cardboard boxes.
- Telecommuting on the Road to Nowhere
Telecommuting was supposed
to free the American work force. In reality it simply transferred the
hatred and disgust we used to feel towards coworkers, to our family.
- Nothin' But a G-rated Thang
When nephew Spike comes
to visit, the newly released Harvard School of Public Health report
on tobacco and alcohol in children's films is put to the test.
Electric AC/DC Test 5/15/01
ever changing landscape of heavy metal and alternative music is scoured
Don't Take Sorries 4/15/01
A now slightly
irrelevant analysis on the art of apologizing to the Chinese.
Date with the Bush Twins 4/01/01
Things get "mad
crazy" as I chill with the current Baberaham Lincolns of the political
a Gay Eminem for Jesus 3/15/01
Eminem has survived
organized protests, police arrests, and a duet with Elton John. Can
he survive an Acid Logic column?
Free Car, A Burrito Tattoo And Thou... 3/1/01
Advertisers will stop
at nothing to saturate us with their messages. If you can't beat 'em,
The advent of cloning
leads to the possibility that we can create an unlimited amount of self
duplicates. Yet some people still say that's a bad thing?
Grown Accustomed to His Face
I kick off the Acid
Logic Inauguration issue with a stirring tribute to departing President
Clinton set to song.
Tired of Christian Bashing, Part II
Upon examination of the great social movements of the
last 100 years one finds a curious impetus: Religion.
Don't Serve Droids in Here
The effect of technology on human interaction is humorously
Defense of Charlie's Angels
The Charlie's Angels film is defended from the vicious
attacks of cruel movie critics.
or I'll Shoot! (Heroin) 11/15/00
A humorous and comical
look at the drug war that has imprisoned hundreds of thousands of Americans
and punished our South American allies.
Kill, Rock and Roll
Rock and Roll has
been the defining music for the past three generations of Americans.
Is it finally time to call it a day?
Just in time for
Halloween, my most hair raising visitation to dreamland is retold.
funny how... 9/30/00
The plight of the
North American tortured artist is examined.
for Success 9/18/00
Welcome to the
first ever Acid Logic theme issue, with the current topic being the
messy subject of lustful, carnal relations. MTV's Undressed, pornography
and sex education are all examined in this column, with the candor you've
come to expect from Acid Logic.
On the main drag
of Seattle's Capitol Hill, two bars eye each other suspiciously, fingers
itching for their six guns.
Jerry Springer Reclaimed My Childhood 8/17/00
The Jerry Springer
the light on American dementia, sexual perversity and midgets.
Is it finally curtains
for the file sharing software? An analysis of
the art of accruing free music without shoplifting.
Devil and Davy Jones 7/13/00
Average looking guys
like myself are always taunted by good looking, charming pretty boys
who take our women, and worse, our beer. The epitome of such Romeos
is The Monkee's Davy Jones. Let's fix him, but good.
Spears VS Eminem for the Title of "Ruler of the Universe"
Sometimes I see Britney
Spears as a pop music princess, sometimes I see her as a talentless
whore. And some days I see Eminem as the last great rapper, other days
he's a misogynistic asshole. Which is which...?
Caps and Padded Bras 6/15/00
upon several recent conversations, I'm reminded that the human race
is still vainly protective of its physical flaws.
Ahh... if only I could relate.
Me for I Have the Power to Destroy You 5/25/00
passing year I become more aware of the fact that every generation must
watch the fruits of its culture destroyed by its sucessors.
the Love Virus 5/10/00
Was the Love
the obnoxious prank of drippy nosed hackers? Or was it sent from the
heavens to fulfill a deep, spiritual need?
- The Goth/Metal
For years hard rock and goth music have stood in opposite
corners, eyeing each other suspiciously. Can they be brought together
by a little thing called
Hitler Was an Alien (or, The Case Against MP3s) 4/13//00
After reading this you may say, "This has nothing
to with Adolph Hitler or aliens, it's simply a long winded rant against
the MP3 music format!" But look deeper, my friend. The truth is
not always obvious.
To the Multi-Talented 3/30/00
Don't you just hate people
who can do things better than you? Or worse, who people aren't as good
as you, but get more attention. Let's hate them together.
Another Acid Logic Column 3/9/00
It finally happened: I
ran out of things to say. So I thought I'd write about that.
- Notes From the Road
My recent train trip across the southwestern part of
the United States provided many musings. I'm collecting them here for
or Pokemon - After boarding the train in
Austin I was confronted by a Pokemon weilding youth. It led
me to many revelations about the state of toys in America.
Friends on the Train - The fun continued
as I conversed with a variety of individuals posing as sane.
First Rant of the Millenium 1/11/00
Since it turns out the world didn't end I suppose I should
celebrate with some positive words. But then I wouldn't be me.
Bigger the Better 11/27/99
Can you divide the love of large women along the racial
line? Or are we all being subjected to more brainwashing from Madison
Hear it for Genetically Engineered Foods! 11/4/99
Continuing with my food theme, I address the weighty
matter of genetically altered fruits. (And I'm not talking about Michael
The Forgotten Condiment 10/18/99
Ahh, mustard... the sexiest of all sandwich dressings.
Protocol of E-mail 10/7/99
Letter writing is alive and well on the Internet. And
that's both good and bad.
Youíre on Voyeurcam.com! 9/2/99
There's a new kind of Candid Camera in town. And it involves
lots of sweaty, naked men.
Wars: The Phantom Menace - What Went Wrong? 8/14/99
We may never move forward as a society until this question
is answered. Fortunately, I have answered it. Feel free to begin worshipping
People's Misery 8/2/99
A wise philosopher once said, "When the going gets tough,
the tough get going." The rest of us just snivel and moan.
at Club Rock-Za 7/15/99
No matter where you go in the world, strip clubs are
all the same.
Hidden World of Airports 7/4/99
It's only after years of airline travel I've come to
see airports for what they really are: a paranoid, violent, sexual shagfest.
Against Boys 6/13/99
The battle of the sexes starts out on the playground
and continues up to the nursing home. Can't we all just get along?
the President's Women 6/2//99
I feel totally lame having to do this but I simply ran
out of time trying to come up with a column for this issue. Thusly I'm
presenting a "classic" Acid Logic from the early days of the Clinton
scandal. However, trust me, this one's pretty funny, I just read it.
So sit back and return yourself to a time when you actually had friends
saying "I really don't think he had sex with that women, Monica Lewinsky."
Star Wars Disappointments 5/15/99
It could be the greatest film ever. But what if...
Some of the Lesser Known Y2K Issues 5/3/99
What is needed in the current Y2k debate is a sound and
learned voice. Once again you're stuck with me.
We Hardly Knew Ye 4/11/99
Comic Book characters have always had a rough translation
to film. This article analyzes the causes of this national embarrassment.
For Flaming Teletubbie? 3/20/99
They're happy, they're friendly, they're loved by children
worldwide... therefore they're perfect targets.
Love To Your Television
The only bumpersticker more annoying than "Perot '92"
are those "Kill Your Television" ones. This article denigrates this
new form of political activism.
Alternate Forms of Punishment for Clinton 1/15/99
Another Clinton article. Probably outdated by the time
you read this but worthwhile nonetheless.
Effects of Clinton-Vision 2/7/99
One of many articles taking the serious subject of impeachment
and reducing it to comedy-fodder.
Up With The Jonesboros
An amazingly cold-blooded (I was quite proud of myself)
and humorous article about the Jonesboro massacre and the roles we expect
Being that the "Generation X" label will haunt me for
the rest of my life, I thought I'd put this down.
Let Me Kill You Pt. 2
A sequel to an article I did a few years ago, this one
focuses on various scum who preach "Revolution" while driving to work
in a BMW.
No tricks or hidden messages. This really is about my
love affair with the Purple one.