It's also nice to look at the globe and think, "Gee, there really are a lot of countries out there who don't hate the US." (Well, at least not vocally.)
posted by wil forbis 4/25/2003 05:50:24 PM

Thursday, April 24, 2003
You gotta admit, it's funny the way the name of news service Knight Ridder looks so much like the title "Knight Rider." It makes you sit there imagining what it would be like if the Knight Rider car told the news.

"Be careful Michael... we still haven't located Saddam Hussein."

"I can't share your joy Micheal - today a high school student killed his principal and then commited suicide."

"Michael, watch out - North Korea is balking at the arms the talks!"

Wouldn't that be funny? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
posted by wil forbis 4/24/2003 09:05:39 PM

Wednesday, April 23, 2003
Anyone ever hear of Kevin Walsh? Apparently he's some super famous snowboarding guy who was in front of me in the line at Starbucks yesterday. The barrista recognized him.

Me - I can't tell one snowboarding douche from the other.
posted by wil forbis 4/23/2003 03:21:24 PM

Monday, April 21, 2003
Saw the 1998 flick "Dark City" this weekend. Interesting movie, and I suspect it may have had some influence on the Matrix - One man wakes up in a world that's not quite right and finds out that everything he knows is wrong. He is pursued by black clad villians who all use the same weaponry.

Not that I'm knocking the Matrix - both were good films.

Besides, I think both movies were really based on "Green Eggs and Ham."
posted by wil forbis 4/21/2003 02:35:43 PM

Friday, April 18, 2003
Hey folks - figured I'd put in a word to let you know I'm still alive. But I'm being worked to death and have nothing funny to say. (Surprise.) All will to live is slowly being drained .... away.....
posted by wil forbis 4/18/2003 12:35:00 AM

Monday, April 14, 2003
Obviously it's a tragedy to see the museums of Bagdahd pilfered by looters. But I can't help but laugh at the mental image of an Iraqi citizen who is sitting in his bare bones apartment, with little food or supplies, but he does have a priceless, eons old piece of pottery sitting on his coffee table. (Perhaps he's using it as an ashtray.)
posted by wil forbis 4/14/2003 11:52:39 AM

Last week I posted a classified ad on FARK for the old Shock and Awe post. Each Fark ad gets a built in comment board and pretty much everyone that left a post reviled me. I figured I'd include some of their comments here, to hide the fact that I can't think of much to say myself today. Even though I was advertising the Shock and Awe post, people seemed more interested in the AC/DC post that was near it. (You can see both these posts by nosing through the March archives.)

*yay another blog... this one strokes itself!!! HAR HAR HAR HAR!!

*
Wow, sounds like a really open minded guy...

"But I'm afraind he will not like AC/DC"

/me holds up a sign reading '75 IQ', saying 'you must be this stupid to ride this website'.

*I think the 'awe' part is when you go 'awe, it's just another weblog'. (Being a fan of word puns, I found this one to be pretty funny - Wil)

*Thank you, Internet, for allowing the unchecked proliferation of asshattery to run rampantly out of hand.

*Hey look, someone actually PAID to make themself look stupid.

*AC/DC isn't even that good. They're minimalist hard rock that relies heavily on delay, echo, and reverb to give credence to their sound. They have 1 (one) song. That's it. One song. And they have been rewriting that one song in various incarnations for the past 17 gazillion albums.

It goes like this:
standard 4/4 kickdrum. Rhythm blues riff that strums one chord with absolutely NO decay, so it delays for a couple of bars. And then heavily distorted lead guitar (that's angus) will add a little diddy to it. Then Bon or Brian or whoever the hell they got singing now will go "babble deee....a babble dah...a babble dee dabba-ba da-ba bah dah"...in actual lyrics, this will be something like "jackboots!....silver liiiined! Stompin' and rockin' all the tiiime!" And then the bridge is just a rephrase, and the chorus has gang vocals about living the life or something. Blah...this makes no sense in text, I know, but if you met me, seriously, I could ad lib an AC/DC song for you in like 30 seconds. It's so easy to make one up, I'm sure the band knows this too, that's how they got it down to almost exact, assembly-line realm of efficiency how to make hits.

So quite the contrary, I find that anyone who doesn't like AC/DC to actually be MORE man than the retarded, homophobic meatheads who do like them. To admit what you like regardless of blockheaded conventions takes REAL balls. To just fall back and say "yeah, I like [insert machismo-oriented testosterone-fuelled frat rock band here]" not only shows how boring and unoriginal you are, it also shows you're a flaming pussy as well.

Friday, April 11, 2003
DISABLED ACTIVISTS ARRESTED IN TEXAS

In a way, I think disabled activists have an unfair advantage. After all, there's no way they can be charged with resisting arrest.
posted by wil forbis 4/11/2003 01:27:32 PM

Thursday, April 10, 2003
Oh... hey... my new diskant column on Blue Oyster Cult is up.
posted by wil forbis 4/10/2003 11:46:12 PM

Tuesday, April 08, 2003
Y'know, I'm glad that so many clearly innocent people are being let out of Iraqi prisons - really I am. But I have to ask the question: Isn't is possible that some of freed prisoners did actually deserve to be there? What's stopping the Charlie Mansons and Son of Sams from getting out?

The obviously retort to that question is, "The serial killers weren't in prison, they ran the country," and while it's a funny, I still think my point is legitimate.
posted by wil forbis 4/8/2003 12:27:09 PM

Sunday, April 06, 2003
You know, I think, like a lot of people, I do agree with much of the sentiment coming from the anti-war left. What I disagree with is the way they say it* - the self-righteous, sanctimonius, eternally smug blathering you hear from "die-in" protesters, trust fund hippies or indie street publications. They're asking the right questions, and pointing fingers at genuine areas of concern, but they just do it in such a way that I want to glue their underarm hair to an upturned piano and lay them in the path of an oncoming Isreali bulldozer.

That's why it's a pleasure to see The Onion make the same arguments, but in a way that doesn't make me want to kill. Read it and laugh. But do not kill.

Yes, not ALL anti-war protestors talk this way. But I can't be bothered to qualify every fucking thing I say.
posted by wil forbis 4/6/2003 11:38:55 PM

Check out Lazy Lester. He's a pretty crazy blues singer. He'll kick your white ass!
posted by wil forbis 4/6/2003 01:33:13 AM

Saturday, April 05, 2003
I was watching "Death Wish II" today. It a good represenative of all those 80's crime films that feature multi-racial criminal gangs. Like, it'll be two black guys, and three white guys, and they'll all look generally degenerate but you can't really pin them down to a particular social movement. One guy might be kind of punk rock but right next to him is some greasy half formed metalhead/hippie stereotype. It was like they took every social group your grandparents were frightened of and meshed them into an amorphous blob.

But I'll be damned if Larence Fishburne wasn't one of the actors who played one of those gangmembers. He really worked his way up. Remember when he was the psyche-ward orderly in "Nightmare on Elm Street Pt. III"?
posted by wil forbis 4/5/2003 08:53:10 PM

Damn, I did not know Jim Goad had a site up! If you don't know who Jim Goad is, you are a homo. (Much like people who don't like AC/DC - see below.) But seriously, it'll take too long to explain who the guy is. Just visit his site. If you need some more incentive, check out a selection I just found in his "Words" section.

My darling physician said that bloody ejaculates are usually caused by either cancer or burst capillaries from rough sex.

An X-ray revealed no cancerous growths, which left rough sex as the culprit, which is kind of implausible, seeing as I was married.

P.S. Queen rules.
posted by wil forbis 4/5/2003 12:42:47 AM

Friday, April 04, 2003
I'll be damned. Did you know Joel Schumacher wrote the song, "Car Wash"?
posted by wil forbis 4/4/2003 05:55:39 PM

Tuesday, April 01, 2003
I was driving today and it occurred to me that'd be funny to change all those "How Am I Driving?" stickers so they read, "Wow, Am I Driving?"
posted by wil forbis 4/1/2003 08:03:39 PM