By Wil Forbis

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Saturday, December 30, 2000
Gotta agree with the boys on this note: the blogger site is really grinding to a halt. Technology being pushed to its limits like a Model T trying to get past 35 miles an hour.

I met a woman at the chiropractors the other day who was 94 years old. I would've sworn she was around seventy. She's the only person in my life to whom I've said "You look thirty years younger!" Unfortunately, I guess I kind of yelled that out and the shock from it all gave her a heart attack. I slipped out while they were doing CPR.

Picked up a copy of the film "Motel Hell" today. You know, the old horror movie where the guys chainsaws people with a pig mask on his head. Never actually seen it, I'll probably check it out tonight.

posted by wil forbis 12/30/2000 07:43:46 PM

Friday, December 29, 2000
Huh,,, well Pete Moss seems to think I have a small nose. Let me tell you, Pete, the chicks haven't complained yet!

Yeah, quitting drinking might not be a bad idea...

Anyway, I've started reading this Lester Bangs biography I picked up in Seattle a while back. It seems almost odd that it's taken them so long to come out with one, you'd really think someone would've put one out in the eighties or whatnot. Society is strange. I suspect communists may be trying to obscure the Bangs legend.
posted by wil forbis 12/29/2000 12:44:13 PM

Thursday, December 28, 2000
Well, back from Christmas vacation.

There are several keys on the computer keyboard I strongly dislike. One is the "insert" key. I seem to accidently hit it whenever I mean to hit the "Delete" key and by the time I realize it, I've ruined everything. Another is the "Caps Lock" key. I'm not totally opposed to this key, but stringly believe it should be moved to some other area of the keyboard. The "Caps Lock" key is much like the button the president uses to launch all our missiles into Russia. It should be used sparingly, perhaps once a year.
posted by wil forbis 12/28/2000 10:13:42 AM

Friday, December 22, 2000
You know, a week ago I discussed a recent letter I'd written to a guy asking about the point of Acid Logic. I said I'd reprint it and will do so now.

Why do I do the web site?

This is an interesting question that I've been asking myself a lot late since
the Acid Logic zine takes up more and more time. The zine actually started
out as a column in web zine that has since passed on, and on that zine's
demise I decided to continue doing the column under its own domain name. At
first it was done on a limited basis, with me producing a new column every
couple weeks. Since then it's grown to include guest contributions, a
Internet radio show, and a variety of interviews and articles (going
beyond the scope of mere columns.)

Why I got into it really has a lot to do with the Internet. I think
everyone at one time or another has had the experience of reading an
article or watching a television show and thinking "I bet it'd be fun to
create something like this." But we also feel, that if we were to engage in
such an endeavor, we'd do it a little differently, with our own sense of
style. When the web hit, I realized this was an opportunity to do just that.
Self publishing on the web was quite affordable and Internet broadcasting
was clearly down the road. (Still hasn't totally hit yet, but will.)
Furthermore, there was an opportunity to do things exactly the way I wanted,
without having to make any concessions to editors concerned with political
correctness or bean counters trying to appeal to advertisers or, for that
matter, the whims of the fickle public that have destroyed many a paper
magazine. And truthfully, I had another, more ulterior, motive: As I had
just fallen into a web related job, creating the zine was an excellent way
to hone my skills in a forgiving environment. In theory, whatever money I
lost supporting the zine would be made up in the increased wages my new
skills would bring. (That theory has yet to farm out, but I'm sticking to

But as I think about, the above justification may be somewhat evasive, as
the cost of running the zine, of publishing my opinions in a (mostly)
uncensored way, has been more than just time or money. I've alienated more
than a few friends and family members with the opinions expressed there, and
definitely find people disturbed when they see my web opinions for the first
time. (In real life I'm a pretty amiable cat and won't get into long winded
political arguments unless I think they will lead to something of substance
as opposed to elongated sessions of rhetoric blowing.) Thus I think the real
reason for my doing the zine, is the simple need for human self-expression.
Just as the lowly caveman tried to leave his mark by painting on cave walls,
I'm attempting to scratch my graffitti on the cyber-surface of the World
Wide Web. I've never really felt as if I fit in anywhere in modern culture,
never felt like a punk, or a metalhead or a preppy, or whatnot, and always
felt that those subcultures contained enough hypocrisies in their existences
that I didn't want to be associated with them. Acid Logic was a
way to strike out on my own and sort of forge my own subculture, one that
answered to my own rules and beliefs. Ultimately, my beliefs generally
revolve around the concept that the world is an essentially absurd place,
and that any attempt to really understand it is a lost cause. Most
philosophical movements throughout time try and lay a moral framework upon
the actions of man, leading to obvious hypocrisies (e.g Noam Chomsky
condemning the fatalities caused by capitalism, while turning a blind eye to
the massacres in Cambodia.) Life is crazy, or at least so
complex, it can't be explained with the philosophical pellets
of wisdom offered by the opinionated people in our society
(the left, the right, punks, John Birch members etc.) The only way
to really understand life is by applying "acid" logic: logic that mimics
the process of the brain on psychedelics or contains an "acidic" wit.

Of course, in reality, the Acid Logic zine rarely contains such grandiose
philosophizing. Mostly, I just talk about movies, or kooky celebrities, or
chicks, or why I like mustard.

posted by wil forbis 12/22/2000 10:12:16 PM

Boy, I went to one of the worst open mikes ever last night. It started out
all right, with an older hippie guy, doing some sort of world music folk
songs on a classical guitar. He was rather drab, but a skilled fingerpicker.
Then some sappy, alterna-folk dou came, two high school guys, and they sang a couple of
crappy emotional love songs designed to get the chicks fluidating. After them was a guy that really sucked and got through one verse of his song before leaving in embarrassment. The audience got up and screamed "You suck" as he left and I heard that some bikers kicked his ass later on. Anyway, after him was the only gem of the night, a teenage girl with some decent tunes, and a tolerable voice. I actually had one of her songs stuck in my head today. After her this older bearderd guy hit the stage and I figured that he looked experienced enough to actually have some skills but he was the worst of all! Bad out of tune guitar playing with atrocious Scandal type love lyrics. At that point I got up and left.

Gosh, I hate to sound so negative, but it is Christmas after all.
posted by wil forbis 12/22/2000 10:06:03 PM

Thursday, December 21, 2000
Hey, didja read about the "mircle baby" in today's USATODAY? Apparently some pregnant woman was killed in a car accident but her baby survived... even though the mother was SLICED IN HALF!!!

Really makes you feel all christmasy doesn't it?

Actually, I think this may be the second coming of Jesus. You may not know this, but in the first version of the Bible, Mary was decapitated while giving birth. That was before they were going for a "G" rating.
posted by wil forbis 12/21/2000 09:22:58 AM

Tuesday, December 19, 2000
Boy, talk about ghost sites. Longtime Acid Logic readers may recall our brief involvement with a clone called They ended up blowing their venture financing or something and supposedly scaling back their project. But I just dropped by there for the first time in months and the thing is dead on the vine. Check out the politics section: they're still talking like Gore and Bush are playing against each other! Ahh, well... lotta suckers starting to lose at the dotcom game these days, seeing their fortunes turn and their finances dwindle. But not Acid Logic... our finances have been dwindling from day one!
posted by wil forbis 12/19/2000 06:29:39 PM

Every so often I get halfway close to signing the Acid Logic site up with ( a site that incorporates you into their network of offensive sites) and I always puss out at the end. A few months ago another one of their people contacted me and I was pretty close to signing on but then I sent him an email and got a reply saying "Sorry, Bob no longer works at Bla-Bla. I'm John, how can I help you?" and I lost my interest in the whole thing. I feel like I might be missing out on a great opportunity but I just hate to give up control of Acid Logic even on a small level. Especially to someone named John.
posted by wil forbis 12/19/2000 06:19:12 PM

Sunday, December 17, 2000
Boy, was that the shittiest Saturday Night Live episode ever or what last night? I dunno... if they keep this up it really could be the final stretch for that show. And I'm the guy who defended the show through thick and thin, when everyone was down on it. During the Dennis Miller period I was there for them. I even thought Kevin Nealon did an allright weekend update. And when the new cast came in I was right there giving a shout out. But now?... I dunno.

And what's with this Jay-Z crap? Give me some DJ- Quik over that garbage any day. Let's face it, rap is dead.

Actually I was talking to this friend of mine just how bad this agro rap/metal is. At least in my day people who played metal could actually play guitar. Any fancypants with two weeks of axe slinging under his belt can burn out slowed down Sabbath riffs over a hip hop beat.
posted by wil forbis 12/17/2000 12:45:08 PM

Friday, December 15, 2000
Why I oughtta... Check out Saleeby making fun of the Acid Logic name. The nerve of that guy. And all this after we pulled him offa the street and gave him a decent paycheck.

Actually, just today I was answering someone's mail and they'd asked for a explaination of the Acid Logic zine. Hold still while I reprint part of it below.

"Most philosophical movements throughout time try and lay a moral framework upon the actions of man, leading to obvious hypocrisies (e.g Noam Chomsky condeming the fatalities caused by capitalism, while turning a blind eye to the massacres in Cambodia.) Ultimately, life is crazy, or at least so complex that it can't be explained neatly with the little philosophical pellets of wisdom offered by the opionated people who claim to know in our culture (the left, the right, punks, John Birch Society members etc.) The only way to really understand life, is by applying "acid" logic: logic that mimics the process of the brain on psychedlics or contains an "acidic" wit."

There's actually a bit more, maybe I'll reprint the rest later.

posted by wil forbis 12/15/2000 06:42:23 PM

Thursday, December 14, 2000
Hmmm... I was reading Pete Moss' blog and he was talking about hanging out with some chick from L7. I remember seeing them about ten years ago in this crappy ass club in Olympia that was about the size of a bedroom. The "Reko Muse" I think it was called, but I might be confusing it with any one of the crappy ass clubs in Olympia. (Long live the Uncola!) L7 were pretty good, kind of ballsy and AC/DC-ish which was pretty refreshing from the gushy punk scene of the time. Come to think of it, I saw a lot of good bands at the clubs in Oly... L7, The Melvins, 7 Year Bitch... and a lot of crappy bands... Some Velvet Sidewalk, Beat Happening. Despite the numerous shows I've been to, I've never really been a fan of live music. Nonetheless a good show is something worth remembering.

There was actually a pretty good punk club in Seattle called The Lake Union Pub, where I hung out fairly extensively in the mid nineties. I never really liked the bands and thought the beer was overpriced so I'd usually just buy a forty ouncer and hang out in back, in the parking lot. Quite a few people would hang out there actually, it really became its own scene. You were cool if you went to the Lake Union Pub, but you were really cool if you hung out in the back. Plus there was a Denny's nearby, so you could always go there to sober up with some coffee and a Moons Over My Hammy.

One of the best concerts I ever went to was FishBone in L.A. circa '91. They did a show at the University of Los Angelos and even though I didn't know anyone who wanted to go, I checked it out. I went alone (obviously) but by the end of the show I was arm in arm with a whole bunch of dudes up front. I was just a really energitic show. Those Fishbone guys managed to be extremely spastic as well as keep a really high level of musicianship going. A few years later I guess the guitarists ended up in some christian cult and the other guys tried to kidnap him and thenn... well, I forget what happened after that.

Shows... boy, I could go on and on with that subject.
posted by wil forbis 12/14/2000 11:27:26 PM

Wednesday, December 13, 2000
My head's been so far beside itself, I've forgotten to update my log over the past few days. Basically, I've been hammering out the pieces for the next issue of Acid Logic. Should be a kicker... it's got a delightful defense of the Charlie's Angels film by myself, a brand new Interesting Motherfuckers celebrity bio by Saleeby, and a surprise piece by a new mystery author. I can't at this time, reveal who the author is because I'm becoming convinced that middle eastern spies are monitoring this blog for information that would compromise U.S. security.
posted by wil forbis 12/13/2000 09:25:08 AM

Sunday, December 10, 2000
I walked into a well known Sacramento bar called the Distillery this past night, in an attempt to find some sort of amusing activity. Perhaps the highlight of the evening was watching this drunken and highly annoying woman fall down and not only embarrass herself but inflict significant injury on her person as well. However, laughing at the pain of others provided only momentary amusement so I left after a couple of drinks. The bar's musical entertainment for the evening seemed to be a series of country tribute bands, and I walked out of the joint I realizing that I don't really like country tribute bands.

Which is strange, because I love metal tribute bands. Right before I left Seattle I saw a night's worth of such acts, including a Judas Priest cover band, a Ted Nugent cover band (which I skipped, of all Ted's work, I can only vaguely tolerate "Cat Scratch Fever") and a wonderful KISS tribute band called "Gene's Addiction" (all the members had Gene Simmons' "Beast" make up and the bass player even spit blood!) It was a great night and made me realize how entertaining metal tribute acts are. (I'm dying to see a recent addition to the Seattle metal tribute bands pantheon: "Hell's Belles", an all female AC/DC tribute band!)

So why don't I like country tribute bands?

For the most part, I do like classic country acts like Johnny Cash, or Elvis, but the thought of seeing a night's worth of such material makes me come up dry. There's something disingenious about the whole thing. Metal tribute acts are aware of the absurdity of the whole situation, that's part of what makes them seem fun. But country tribute bands seem to to take things a little too seriously, as if they really think they live the country lifestyle. Let me put it this way: the members of metal tribute bands listened to metal when they were teenagers, therefore their vocation seems to be composed of equal parts self mockery and a genuine love for the music. I would suspect that the members of most country tribute bands also listened to metal in their youths, therefore their current playlist seems a bit forced and the containing of a degree of self denial. The ultimate message here? If you want country, go for the real thing.
posted by wil forbis 12/10/2000 03:09:59 PM

Saturday, December 09, 2000
Perhaps one of the more interesting evenings I've had in Sacramento occurred to me late last night when, after watching "The 6th Day" with a co-worker, I wandered into a Mexican bar where a group of people were sitting around watching a guy sing acoustic versions of traditional mexican songs mixed in with Metallica and Cure tunes. He did a great version of "Boys Don't Cry" as well as this sort of acoustic, mexican rap that reminded me a bit of Sublime (except it was good!) I shall definately return to this beer parlor and enjoy this fellow's music again.

"The 6th Day" wasn't all that bad. I like the way Arnold unapologetically plays the same character in every film. He can play and professional mercenary in one film, and the in the next be a house dad who nonetheless is trained in unarmed combat and has no problem killing people. The sci fi cloning plot gave the film a little more juice then your average Arnold death-fest and managed to hold my interest for most of the two hours.
posted by wil forbis 12/9/2000 07:59:34 PM

Friday, December 08, 2000
There's a couple of bands I enjoy listening to over at including a group called Spin the Bottle. They're a pretty good harmony vocals outfit and their song "Let Me" is as good a song about duping a girl into having sex with you as any.

On side note, I was watching Politically Incorrect last night and the subject of drug legalization came up. Bill Maher was complaining because Clinton had announced in Rolling Stone that he thought it should be legal to have small amounts of pot, and Maher felt that Clinton was saying this way too late in his term, especially after beefing up the drug war the way he had. There was some lawyer chick on the show who whined that this would show our children that "drugs are okay." So Maher got up and slapped her and then urinated on her. (Well, he didn't really, be he should have.) Unfortunately, nobody got on this lady's case with the obvious comeback, being that the current drug war is effectively saying that it's "okay" to lock someone up for twenty years for being in a car with cocaine. Or that that it's "okay" to imprison somebody's grandmother who's smoking pot for her cancer pain. (Grandmothers are the sweetest.) And I can assure you: kids are smart enough to see the miscarriage of justice within such acts, and that accounts for alot of youth's distrust and fear of the law and legal system. Not to mention their apathy towards government in general.

Anyway, since I'm quite sure that woman reads these blogs, I expect to hear from her soon. Prepare to bath in cyber-urine!
posted by wil forbis 12/8/2000 12:10:05 PM

Wednesday, December 06, 2000
Well, I just got back from the Crest where I saw Margeret Cho's "I'm the One That I Want." Not bad. Her best gags are definately her endless imitations of her painfully asian mother and she makes ample use of this routine, most humorously imitating her while she says "Ass Masters?" Also managed to have a bit of genuine sentimentality without getting preachy. It's interesting hearing Cho talk about her "American Girl" tv show and the impact it had on her life, when I only vaguely recall it being on.

However, the same way I detest politicians who get up and say things like "I love America" in front of patriotic assemblies, I get turned off by Cho standing in front of a crowd in San Francisco and saying "I love gay men" and then soaking in the obvious cheers.
posted by wil forbis 12/6/2000 10:16:50 PM

Tuesday, December 05, 2000
Boy you want to know what film NOT to see? "True Crime" starring Alicia Silverstone and Kevin Dillion. I rented it last night, thinking I was getting the Clint Eastwood flick entitled "True Crime." The version I ended up with was some sort of "Nancy Drew meets Silence of the Lambs" murder mystery that left all logic out the window in its convoluted and unrealistic plot (unlike Charlie's Angels.) For one thing, get this: Alicia Silverstone is playing a girl who thinks she's ugly?! Yeah, on Bizzaro World maybe. Then there's this whole "did he or didn't he" plotline around whether Kevin Dillion was the killer that goes through so many iterations you've lost interest at the end.

Tonight should be all right though. I've got "Casino Royale" with David Niven and a young Woody Allen.
posted by wil forbis 12/5/2000 06:24:53 PM

Friday, December 01, 2000
Well, I saw one of those trangendered people today. Basically it was a woman who obviously had breasts and stuff, and spoke in a womanly voice, but also had a well groomed and noticeable beard and moustache. Now I hear what you're saying, "Wil, you saw an Italian woman" but, nope, I'm pretty sure this was a transgendered woman. Which, brings to mind a picture I saw on the Styles web site that I'd rather not talk about.

So I finally saw Charlie's Angel's. What a blast! I'm amazed that it got so many bad reviews including one in Sacramento's limp wristed attempt at a Village Voice type paper. The reviewer called the jokes "stale" and the action scenes "unbelievable" (which is pretty much the definition for any action scene.) Truthfully, I know what powers reviewers of this sort of ilk. These are guys starting to realize that they're not going to get anywhere with that BA in Literature and are discovering that chicks no longer find their arcane references to Chekov and Lord Byron amusing so they try and get in some 18 year old feminist's pants by acting all cultured and put down a quality flick like "Charlie's Angel's" (The reviewer accused the stars of "jiggling", to which I say "and how!")

Yeah, good stuff, that Charlie's Angels. Light years ahead of the show.
posted by wil forbis 12/1/2000 11:33:41 PM

View these other exciting Acid Logic blogs...
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Try your damndest to keep up with the visceral, tangential world of Jesss Morel.
Piss and Vinegar - the Blog of Pete Moss
Pete Moss makes home in a world few dare tread. A place of classic motorcycles, celebrity hobnobbing, drug fueled ruminations and an endless love affair with female genitalia.
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A page devoted to daily revelatory thoughts, usually involving graphic references to sexual anatomy and the goo that said parts squirt, tales of real-life craziness, and often times referring to love and the collective consciousness of the Universe...
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View the flavorful writing styles of a 20 something bipolar living on the corner of insanity and absolute bliss. Don't come here looking for a good time. Unfiltered, uncouth, and no cat pictures. (WARNING: Some porn and human deformities... often in the same image.)
Jihad Against Cowardice: A Defense of Bill Maher's Politically Incorrect
An archived blog protesting ABC cancellation of Politically Incorrect. Contains an overview of some of the last shows.

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***Armored Soul - You can check out some of my music here
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* Yes, even I link to Salam Pax
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