I'm still burning through my heavy metal history book. I'm now up to the 80's with section on Dokken and Van Halen.

One band the book has got me thinking about is AC/DC. That's band that I think, regardless of what your musical tastes are, you have to appreciate. There's just something fundementally good about AC/DC. They transend arguments of "punk vs metal" or "grarage vs corporate." AC/DC are simply great music.

Anyone who doesn't like AC/DC is clearly a fag. There is something "not right" about such people. I suspect when doctors perform autopsies on these people, they find some some sort of tumor in the brain and say, "Ahh, this person must not have liked AC/DC." Then the other doctor says, "Well, their death wasn't much of a loss then, was it?"

In the future, doctors will be able to isolate this flaw in human fetuses. They'll call expectant parents in their office and say, "Physically, your child looks fine. But I'm afraid he will not like AC/DC." The parents will look at each other wistfully and say, "I guess we'll have to abort."
posted by wil forbis 3/31/2003 04:36:24 PM

Saturday, March 29, 2003
It just occurred to me that the timing of the Gulf War falls right in line with what I have understood the prophesies of Nostrodamus call for. Supposedly there would be some big battle with Arab States around the 2003-04 range and then Satan reveals himself, or something like that. But I take heart when I reread this little known passage from his predictions:

And one called Forbis the Mighty

Shall arise to rule them

The men shall be his servants

And the women shall be his love slaves

(Well, at least the hot women like Eve and Gwen Stefani. Ugly chicks like Star Jones can just step the fuck off!)
P.S. Kiss's "Love Gun" rules!

No point fighting it people, you might as well start worshipping me. It's not like I'm just making this up
posted by wil forbis 3/29/2003 07:20:00 PM

It's hard to find much related to this war to laugh about, but the Onion has some good offerings. I especially liked "Dead Iraqi Would Have Loved Democracy."

Still, that's about the only funny thing to come out of this stupid war...

Well, that and the pictures of dead Iraqi babies blown apart by missiles.

The Onion and pictures of dead Iraqi babies blown apart by missiles: A winning team!
posted by wil forbis 3/29/2003 01:04:31 AM

Friday, March 28, 2003
Lo and Behold - Pete Moss has some new blogs up.
posted by wil forbis 3/28/2003 01:27:07 AM

So I just started reading this book called "Bang Your Head." It's basically a history of heavy metal sent to me by my good pal, Tom K, an ecclectic individual and fellow metalhead. As such, I figured I'd share whatever tidbits interest me as I go through the book over the next few weeks.

So far it's covered the early years - Sabbath, Led Zep, Deep Purple and Alice Cooper. I was under the impression that Alice only recently converted to Christianity, but apparently he was one from the start, in fact, his dad was a Deacon or something.
posted by wil forbis 3/28/2003 01:21:41 AM

Thursday, March 27, 2003
I can't deny that I've been amused by several articles which refer to the beginning or "oral arguments" in the Texas Sodomy Law case.

heh, heh... you said "oral."
posted by wil forbis 3/27/2003 01:49:02 AM

Wednesday, March 26, 2003
OH-UH. THE YOGURT FAST!

Check out the enclosed from a recent article about Cuban Dissidents.

"The dissidents had pledged to consume only liquids - yogurt, soup and juices - until fellow dissident Dr. Oscar Elias Biscet is released from jail. Biscet was imprisoned in December during a protest in nearby Matanzas Province."

I find the thought of watching someone subsist only on yogurt more distasteful than watching someone starve themselves to death.

posted by wil forbis 3/26/2003 05:57:34 PM

Tuesday, March 25, 2003
I've noticed something of a trend in the world of horror films. A lot of recent movies will show scenes of a person or animal being sliced into several pieces by a weapon that moves so fast that their body takes a few moments to fall apart. I first saw this in the cult hit, "The Cube." You may recall the horse scene from "The Cell." "Thirteen Ghosts," and "Final Destination II" had similar moments.

I suspect we have entered a new era in in film, an era called "People Getting Sliced Up So Fast it Takes Awhile for their Body to fall Apart Era." It shall be a glorious time.
posted by wil forbis 3/25/2003 07:21:23 PM

Monday, March 24, 2003
Count me amoung the people who think we're full of shit to condemn Arab TV for showing pictures of captured and killed American soldiers. This is war, baby, it's supposed to be ugly. And it should be made all the uglier in knowing that there are people watching those images with glee on their faces.

If we're too weak to watch a war, then we're definately too weak to start one.

Besides, it's not like we don't show all sorts of hideous images on American television. You ever seen the guests of Jerry Springer?
posted by wil forbis 3/24/2003 10:25:52 PM

Sunday, March 23, 2003
Man! I cannot believe that piece of shit CHICAGO won Best Picture. Arab terrorists should've blown up the awards ceremony just for that!

I really thought "Final Destination II" had a chance...

Kind of sorry I missed the moment when Roman Polanski won Best Director. Did the say something like "Mr. Polanski could not be here due to the fact that he raped a 13 year old twenty years ago. Accepting the award in his place will be Adam Sandler."
posted by wil forbis 3/23/2003 10:52:47 PM

Here's what I bet the new film, "The Quiet American" is like:

Mark: "Hey there, Quiet American. How's it going?"

Quiet American: (softly) "mmrmgm ... flign .. mmmrg"

Mark: "What's that Quiet American? I can't quite hear you."

Quiet American: (softly) "ydffer.. ghthhh.. frth"

Mark: "Man, I cannot hear a fucking word you're saying. Speak up!"

Quiet American: (softly) "jjghth ... drrgh"

Mark: "Fuck this. See you around, queer!"

Thank you very much, I'll be doing another show at 11:00 and 11:30. Don't forget to tip your waitresses and HIT THOSE SLOT MACHINES!
posted by wil forbis 3/23/2003 06:42:44 PM

Saturday, March 22, 2003
PHASE TWO OF THE SHOCK AND AWE CAMPAIGN


posted by wil forbis 3/22/2003 12:07:36 PM

Friday, March 21, 2003
I've kind of had this idea lately that one thing I should do with my blog is mark down important events as they happen so that years from now I can track down the particular days they occurred on. So I'd just like to note to my future self that starting this past Wenesday, the attacks on Iraq began.

Also, last night I had that three way with Gwen Stefani and Eve. Definately want to remember that one.
posted by wil forbis 3/21/2003 11:55:54 PM

Is it just me, or does this "Your Body is a Wonderland" song by John Mayer sound kind of... pervy?
posted by wil forbis 3/21/2003 04:17:47 PM

Thursday, March 20, 2003
Hey folks, do me a favor and go here and click the link that says MF Masterpieces: Repo Man (It's a few blurbs under the date of "Thursday March 20th, 2003.") The link is my recent Acid Logic piece on the great Repo Man film. The site the link is on is sort of a Fark style link site which keeps tallies on sites submitted.

C'mon... do it for your old pal Wil. Let's see if we can keep the hits for the Repo Man piece above the death toll at the Iraqi Body Count. (As of right now, it is, but one smart bomb could change all that.)
posted by wil forbis 3/20/2003 11:50:28 PM

Probably a worthwhile site to keep an eye on: The Iraqi Body Count.
posted by wil forbis 3/20/2003 11:43:50 PM

I'm kinda posting this just as a reminder to myself to read it, but it's a Salon article about what I think may have been the best horror film ever: The Ring.

Here's a couple other thing I need to remember to do:

* Rape babies

* Kill for Satan

* Buy brussell sprouts

Yep, definately don't want to forget any of that stuff.

Oh wait, one more thing:

* Rape babies

Hey, that's already on the list! Well, no harm doing it twice.
posted by wil forbis 3/20/2003 08:33:30 PM

Interesting, a blog from Iraq.
posted by wil forbis 3/20/2003 01:16:25 PM

Wednesday, March 19, 2003
Got a chuckle out of this section from a recent news article on Salon about the occurring attacks.

"We view the imminent unilateral military action by the U.S. and its allies as an illegitimate act of aggression," the three countries said in e statement released by the Malaysian Foreign Ministry.

Excuse me? How can a unilateral attack have allies?


posted by wil forbis 3/19/2003 10:20:03 PM

After hearing these recent controversial statements by Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks, I am going to make a principled stand. I AM GOING TO DESTROY EVERY DIXIE CHICKS ALBUM THAT I OWN!!!

Well... that was easy.

Sure hope nobody from KISS says anything...
posted by wil forbis 3/19/2003 10:04:13 AM

Tuesday, March 18, 2003
Boy, one thought went through my head when I read this description of Saddam Hussein shredding people alive in plastic shredders.

COOL!!!!!
posted by wil forbis 3/18/2003 09:56:11 PM

You know, I was listening to this "Picture" song by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow, and was thinking how odd it is that Sheryl would sing a line like, "I was headed to church." It seems like such a provincial thing for her to say - I was surprised she felt that would fit in were her image.

But then again, I was surprised that she'd have sex with a group of monkeys and as we all know, she did that too.

So anyway, I did confirm that I'm in several audience shots from that live taping of Bill Maher's Real Life I attended a few weeks ago. Obviously I'm planning my next move - perhaps I'll attend Craig Kilborne's show and ask some questions from the audience. At that point, my profile should be high enough in this town that I can start fielding offers for my own show. Maybe a couple years on CBS then I can make a move for Leno's spot.

Hey, who should play me when they film my life story? I'm think Tobey Macguire. It'll be the first time in movie history that the actor playing the person isn't as good looking as the person themselves.
posted by wil forbis 3/18/2003 04:14:26 PM

Monday, March 17, 2003
Yeah, the new acid logic is a bit late. I meant to post it last night, but my flight back into LA didn't get in til 2 so I just went home, finished off a leftover can of Steel Reserve and crashed. It'll go up tonight with my look at Repo Man, Saleeby's musings on recent comedy films and ... other stuff.
posted by wil forbis 3/17/2003 03:04:50 PM

Sunday, March 16, 2003
Heh - remember when upset everybody with my post that Nader voters in swing states had some responsibility for the war on Iraq? Charles Taylor makes the point in a much more sneering way, right here in Salon. It requires you view an ad to see it, but if you're interested in the topic it's worth it.

Taylor mentions a whole series of recent laws pass that would not have gotten by Bush, and while I agree with him on most of them, I'm against the proposed $250,000 cap on pain and suffering awards only in principle*. For the most part, I think suiters get away with highway robbery in that matter.

* The principle being that judges should have full control over the amounts for damages, which is the same reason I'm against the three strikes laws.

That said, Dan Seymore gave a pretty good defense of Nader in the pages of acid logic awhile back, and it contained these lines.

"I know you're probably sick of reading about Nader by now, but my vote would have been cast for Nader, and Ralph Nader needed every vote he could get. This is truly a shame since it's obvious he's just about the only man in politics who is interested in the common good rather than soft money and Japanese hookers. (Well, everyone's interested in Japanese hookers, but the soft money part's still true.)"

I'd like to give my soft money to a Japanese hooker right now! HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW!!! sniffle....


posted by wil forbis 3/16/2003 07:03:00 PM

Friday, March 14, 2003
Hmmm, this article about forged documents being used to make the case against Iraq could turn out to be a smoking gun of its own - though not the kind Powell would like.

While you peruse the article, check out this amazing typo: "The documents indicated that Iraq tried to by uranium from Niger." It's a bad day when the AP starts to read like Acid Logic.

Do you ever notice that after you cook vegetables it seems like there's more of them? Like you start off with 34 peas and end up with 50? I suspect Satan.
posted by wil forbis 3/14/2003 06:42:56 PM

Everybody says Michael Jackson is weird, and of course he is, but there's one thing about the guy I can respect: The fact that he molests children.

Ha! Just kidding. Actually, it's the fact that he has monkeys. If I were super rich, there would be no end to the amount of monkeys I'd have hanging around. I love those fuckers. Every room in my house would have 2 or 3 monkeys, jus' puttin' back a 40 and chillin.

You there! Why don't you have monkeys? I kill you now!
posted by wil forbis 3/14/2003 01:41:51 AM

Thursday, March 13, 2003
Hey - did you know floss is reusable? I'd say you can get 5-6 sessions out of each strand!

I would like to formally announce that acid logic has weapons of mass destruction.


posted by wil forbis 3/13/2003 07:39:35 PM

Wednesday, March 12, 2003
I don't think there's any avoiding the fact that Kelsey Grammer is pretty fruity.
posted by wil forbis 3/12/2003 08:45:34 PM

I think it's well known that I detest all things hippy. But that said, I gotta say: I love Trader Joe's. One adavantage about my recent move to LA is that there's one down the street from my new digs, and I'm really enjoying my grocery purchases. The other day, I got these weird burrito things... they're like burritos but they're wrapped in a dried corn husk. Good shit. They've got this bread covering and are filled with chicken and cheese and beans and eyeballs and other good stuff. I could probably go to the fridge and pull one out to give you an exact name, but I'm too lazy. I'll let you explore Trader Joe's on your own in search of this treasure.

Speaking of fridges, hats off to Sandra and Arnie for giving me mine. It's working great. And thanks for the porn!

Trader Joes isn't all thumbs up though. This morning I tried these waffles that I bought there, and I dunno... something was missing. I'm not sure what it is about waffles that makes them "waffleicious" but it definately gets removed in the Trader Joe's rendering plant.

posted by wil forbis 3/12/2003 12:07:20 AM

Tuesday, March 11, 2003
Man, look at these Broadway musicians. Folded like a bunch of bitches!
posted by wil forbis 3/11/2003 09:37:36 AM

Monday, March 10, 2003
Whoops - Sorry Jesss, I've been out of touch with other blogs lately. What's a GLAMerican? Is that like Poison?

I suspect part of the enjoyment of reading people blogs comes from catching pieces of conversation - a la above. It's a sort of voyeuristic thrill.

I tend to use the blog for such "private" conversations simply because it's easy.
posted by wil forbis 3/10/2003 03:26:26 PM

Hey - I had a great idea for a Saddam Hussein sketch at Saturday Night Live. Since SNL probably won't be hiring me while Saddam's still alive, I thought I'd share it with you. Basically, the inspectors finally break into to Saddam's secret weapons cache. Perturbed by what they find, they ask Saddam to explain. He says, "Well these are my exploding robot kittens, these are my laset shooting flower lapels, these are my depleted uranium firecracker toothpicks, etc" See, he's spent all time making silly weapons of the Maxwell Smart variety.

Well, it seemed funny when I came up with it.


posted by wil forbis 3/10/2003 01:44:38 PM

Friday, March 07, 2003
Whoops - Sorry to dissappoint you John, but I'm still here. I actually posted my delightful Saddam quote a few days ago, but Blogger apparently refused to post it. I suspect some sort of plot between saleeby and Evan Williams at Blogger.com to make it appear that I was dead so they could take over Acid Logic. Very similar to THe Man in the orin Mask.

Why am I so busy. With this war against Saddam heating up, I've been called in by the CIA to user my superior combat abilities against the Republican Guard. It's been five days of ass kicking while making sweet love to beautiful and very thankful Iraqi women.)
posted by wil forbis 3/7/2003 12:21:06 PM

Wednesday, March 05, 2003
It'd be interesting if Saddam promised to disarm as long as the South Park guys stopped making fun of him.
posted by wil forbis 3/5/2003 10:42:21 AM

Saturday, March 01, 2003
So I went and checked out the live taping of the new HBO show "Real Time with Bill Maher" last night. Seems like a pretty fun scene. It started out with Dave Mathews doing some speil against the war and then David Horowitz defending the war. I don't really get Horowitz. On paper he can defend himself pretty well, but on TV he's a rambling baboon. Course, Mathews sounded like he's just smoked something, so the competition wasn't tough.

If you watch the show (they repeat it throughout the week), keep and eye out for the segment when an old black guy from the audience asks a long winded question. You can see me in background, grinning like an ass.

For anyone who cares, I'm going to put the new acid logic issue up this Sunday, the 2nd. Just figured I'd give the exiting articles a bit more airtime, since February was a short month.
posted by wil forbis 3/1/2003 10:52:47 AM