By Wil Forbis

You want archives motherfucker? Check this shiz-nit out:
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
April 2003
March 2003
Feb 2003
Jan 2003
Dec 2002
Nov 2002
Oct 2002
Sept 2002
Aug 2002
July 2002
June 2002
May 2002
April 2002
March 2002
Feb 2002
Jan 2002
Dec 2001
Nov 2001
Oct 2001
Sept 2001
Aug 2001
July 2001
June 2001
May 2001
April 2001
March 2001
Feb 2001
Jan 2001
Dec 2000
Nov 2000
Oct 2000
Sept 2000

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Wednesday, September 25, 2002
Man, I'm beat. But just to keep you interested, I'd like to show you some exciting previews of next week's blogs.

* The guy barely made a move as I tied him up with duct tape and poured gasoline on his head. "You don't fuck with Wil Forbis," I said, lighting a match.
(From the blog of Sept 29, 2002.)

* I could hardly believe it! Drew Barrymore right in front of me, quickly shedding her clothing to expose those magnificant mammaries. "Drew, honey" I said. "If you ever were a lesbian, you won't be after the next two minutes."
(From the blog of October 1, 2002.)

* Vito had me pinned to the ground, but there was one thing he hadn't counted on. My newly formed third arm!
(From the blog of October 3, 2457)

Hang in there folks - it's all just around the corner!
posted by wil forbis 9/25/2002 08:18:34 PM

Monday, September 23, 2002
Man, I've been just insanely forgetful lately. This saturday, I took off in the morning to see my chiropractor, and then had a 12 oclock to drop by a music studio. So in between, I figured I drop by Starbucks and work on a rough treatment I'm compiling for a movie version of a H.P. Lovecraft story. So I do the chiropractor (by that, I mean I get adjusted by him) then realize I forgot the H.P. LOvecraft book. By the time I go home and get it and go back to Starbucks, I'll have little time to do anything. So I waste some time and get a new pair of shoes (30$ with all sorts of weird Macey's discounts) and then go to the sudio. I have a map, but as I approach, I realize I forgot the fucking address! Fortunately I figure it out from memory and it turns out the studio blew their computer and can't do much anyway.

So later that night I drive to another Starbucks with the plan of working on the treatment. I walk into Starbucks and realize I fucking forgot my wallet! Can you believe that? I never forget my wallet. HOmie's got to have his Benjamins, youknowwhatimsaying? (I suspect many of you don't.)

The next day, I've got to drive up to Nevada for work. I have one task before leaving Sacramento - drop off my copy of "John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness." (I have to confess Cody, I still haven't seen Maximun Overdrive. Next weekend.) I grab the video, head out the door, pick up bean juice at Starbucks, drive to Tower video and realize that while I have the video case the fucking video is still in the vcr!!! Fucking Fuck!

I think I'm getting that disease where you fucking forget stuff... what's it called?

I forget.
posted by wil forbis 9/23/2002 06:31:54 PM

Friday, September 20, 2002
Well I'll be darned... Ollie Simpson over at diskant really nails my general feeling on "protest movements."

You're right Ollie... don't be afraid to blame the hippies.
posted by wil forbis 9/20/2002 05:45:27 PM

Check this is out. When you call up SBC Bell tech support these days they are forced to say. "Thanks you for calling SBC. My name is {insert name}. How may I give you excellent service today?"

Excellent... Fucking... Service...?

It's just embarrassing. I'm embarassed for me, I'm embarassed for them. No human should be forced to say, "How may I give you excellent service?"

For starters you can stop asking me how you cam give me excellent service.

The phrase sounds like some sort of allusion to prostitution.

Oh yeah baby... give me that excellent service. Yeah, baby, that's how I like it.... excellent!

It's a fruity world.
posted by wil forbis 9/20/2002 05:41:08 PM

Wednesday, September 18, 2002
You know, I've always been disgusted with these people that will go off about how profound music from the early nineties was. Or how all these grunge artists were tortured individuals who were bringing truth to the masses. But the other day I was thinking about how many of these people died from unnatural causes. Like that dude from Alice and Chains who just od'd. Or the chick from Hole. Or that keyboard player from Smashing Pumpkins. And...

Errr.... there's someone else isn't there?

Oh yeah, Kurt Cobain.

Anyway, that's a lot of dead guys. But the hippies still got us beat. Joplin, Hendrix, Mr. Doors guy.

Did you know Frankie Lymon died of a heroin overdose. Talk about being ahead of your time.
posted by wil forbis 9/18/2002 09:02:00 PM

Tuesday, September 17, 2002
Hey folks, I was hoping you could help me out with something. My email seems to have conked out and I had a few emails I wanted to send off. So I figured I'd just post them here and let the recipients know I had them on the site for their perusal.

Only one thing: These are kind of personal, so I hoping I can trust you not to read them. Thanks.


Good hearing from you. Yeah, I'm pretty much up to the usual. Still doing the blog which seems to be pretty popular. Personally I don't really get why anyone would want to read my meandering thoughts. I generally think anyone that visits my page has got to be some sort of degenerate loser. It's like, "what's wrong with you, get your own life you stupid fuck." How retarded do you have to be that even have the time to waste visiting my site. Even if someone just happens to come across it they're probably a homo. Sometimes those people will email me and and I pretend to be nice, but I'm always thinking, "This person must be the worst form of moron on the planet." I suppose they look up to me as their God or something, but I wouldn't think twice about killing them all.

Anyway, peace out!



Funny you happened to write just now. You know who I just got an email from? Mark! That's right, Smelly Mark. Hah! I still don't think he even knows that he has that nickname and he definately doesn't know that it was you who but the dog poo on his resume! He seemed about the same as ever... dumb as a box of rocks. Remember that long weekend when I kept sleeping with his girlfriend and he kept saying "Gee, Sandy sure is taking awhile to pick up those groceries! Dum-dee-Dum-Dum... My name is Mark and I'm an idiot!" Whatta maroon!



Hey people, thanks for respecting my privacy and not reading the above emails. You guys are great. I love you all!
posted by wil forbis 9/17/2002 06:24:31 PM

Monday, September 16, 2002
I'm a big fan of political thinkers who defy the the often inconsistant mantras of "the left" or "the right." You know, great philosophers like Mark Twain, Pete Singer and Adolph Hitler.

So when I happened across an announcement that this site had launched, I thought I'd give it the occasional look through. Check it out, could be an interesting ride.

Or it could totally suck.

Oliver Willis is also a good example of someone who deosen't simply recite a predictable agenda.

You know who else I dig? Bill O'Reilly. Anyone who knocks him as being a straight out of the box conservative clearly isn't paying attention.

Well, that's enough political stuff. Next post I'll go back to talking about boobies and flesh eating zombies.
posted by wil forbis 9/16/2002 03:56:49 PM

Friday, September 13, 2002
So check this hombres - you can listen to some MP3 samples of Paul Allen's band by going here. But dig it - most of the samples are just like 30 seconds or so, not the whole the song. I guess Paul doesn't want us downloading the whole thing cuz then we'd never buy the album and he's lose the chance to make that additional couple thousand bucks that he could add to his fortune. I mean, geez... with everything that guy's got he can't throw us a bone and let us download his songs for free. He even has to hoard what small bit of pleasure he can offer us through the magic of music?

Blow me, Paul Allen.
posted by wil forbis 9/13/2002 06:08:47 PM

Thursday, September 12, 2002
I gotta tell you - I'm really starting to dig these spam emails where someone offers to make you the sole recipient for a vast amount of money that for some reason has been left in the bank of an island African nation. I just got one from some dude in Mauritius (It's a real place, I checked.) I could get the 25 mil that some guy who died in a car crash left in his bank. I tell ya - I'm touched. All the people in the world and he wants to pass this money on to little old Wil. Why does he want to do it? Otherewise, the money will fall into the hands of "corrupt government officials."

But the best one of these emails is from some chick who's the ex-wife of some foriegn president who was assassinated. It's like, she and her son are on the run from the military dictators and their jig is pretty much up unless you allow them to transfer millions of dollars to you.

It's an exciting world out there.
posted by wil forbis 9/12/2002 05:46:40 PM

Tuesday, September 10, 2002
Not sure this makes sense. We're sending Cheney to a secret location while Bush is walking around in public. I though the whole point of Cheney was to keep anyone from offin' Bush.

If it were up to me, we'd tie Cheney to a flagpole and have him yell "Here I am you Arab cocksuckers. Come and get me!!!" while Bush chills in the official White House fallout shelter.

But it's not up to me is it?

It's up to the Satanic Disco Ninjas.

They control everything.
posted by wil forbis 9/10/2002 06:47:01 PM

Check it out. These are two of the search phrases people used to search on the acid logic site.

"how to make fake blood using waffler syrup"
posted by wil forbis 9/10/2002 11:12:08 AM

Monday, September 09, 2002
You ever seen Chuck and Buck? Man... you're missing one of the best films ever. I saw it when it came out and then rewatched this past weekend. Truly amazing - I mean, that is acting! Motherfuckers are HARSH!!! Basically it's about this weird semi-retarded guy who gets reacquainted with his old friend who's now a successful music industry wanker. But, I mean... that doesn't even begin to describe what the film's really about. You're going to have to pull yourself out of your Mickey Mouse shaped bathtub and go down to the video store to see for yourself.

Also saw Road to Perdition this weekend. Not bad. A great study of how much you can "show" off camera. That scene where he shoots the dude in the bath tub and then the mirrored bathroom door falls into place... priceless!

You know what's funny? Meercats!
posted by wil forbis 9/9/2002 06:08:04 PM

Saturday, September 07, 2002
Man, I had this crazy dream last night. I was watching a rerun of "Growing Pains" and Mike Seaver (Kirk Cameron) had gone to Japan to take part of this weird experiment. This crazy Japanese doctor was going to inject him with some strange fluid. So Mike's strapped to this table and these cute, naked japanese chicks are running around trying to save him. It was outta control!

The night before that I was hanging out with this jazz musician in Hollywood and we were walking around in this giant hotel. The cool thing was that it was a version of Hollywood I'd had in a dream years earlier.
posted by wil forbis 9/7/2002 05:06:08 PM

Thursday, September 05, 2002
I wonder whatever happened to Sandra Bernhardt? Ever see "The King of Comedy." She was great in that.

Yeah, everyone's talking about how Jerry Lewis is really fat now. Has some weird disease or something.

About ten years ago, I was in New York watching the Robin Bird show. Robin Bird was this ex-porn star, and she got a cable access show where she'd do some stripping and talk about stuff. Anyway, I was watching the show and Berhardt came on - apparently she was a regular. Sometime's she'd strip, but not this show. She said she was really tired.

I tried to interview Robin Bird for acid logic but she blew me off. Uhhh... I mean, she ignored me.
posted by wil forbis 9/5/2002 06:37:27 PM

Wednesday, September 04, 2002
Yeah... I dunno... maybe Madonna ain't all that bad. She did have one good line in Truth or Dare. She was talking to Sandra Bernhardt about how she had all these nightmares as a child after her mother died. She said she'd wake up with her heart pounding and she'd have to go get into her father's bed. "Did that help?" asks Sandra. "Sure" Maddy replied. "He'd fuck me and I'd fall right to sleep."

But I just can't help feeling that I've met Madonna before. Not her specifically, but various women just like her - an interchangeable montage of chicks who think the world owes them adulation. And they also always think they're really cutting edge, when in reality, they're pretty tame. Madonna gets all this attention for her supposed blasephemy, but I never get upset by all this religious stuff. Go ahead and fuck yourself with a crucifix, I don't care...

Dude, you know what's fucked up? This episode of Jenny Jones I saw a few days ago. It was about chicks who make a living by entering bathing suit contests. As usual, Jenny was both highlighting and dismissing this behavior. She was standing there saying "Don't you girls want to have careers?" and meanwhile the camera was making love to every inch of their delectable teenage bodies. Finally, they end it with this Rude Jude guy - have you seen him? He's some wigger Jenny hired and he comes on and makes fun of all the guests. Really a rather brilliant marketing ploy. Anyway, so he conducts this Trivia contest where the chicks have to answer pretty basic questions. Of course they're all dumb as rocks and get almost everything wrong. One chick thought July 4th was the day Columbus discovered America.

Disgusting, I tell you. Disgusting!
posted by wil forbis 9/4/2002 11:43:26 AM

Monday, September 02, 2002
So lately I've been trying to force my way through the entirity of Madonna's "Truth or Dare" video. Jesus Christ, this shit is dull! And I had no idea she was such a cunt! Half the movie is her ordering around these hapless crewmembers who are just trying to maintain their sanity. That's one thing that really gets my goat - people who pick on the gruntworkers of our society. So what if they're all a bunch in inbred pigfuckers - You gotta treat them almost like they're human beings.

But yeah... it's a pretty shitty film. The rest of it is Madonna making these painfully staged confessions. My favorite occurs after she blows out her voice and has to cancel part of the tour. She says something like "Finally, I had to admit I was human and take a break." Gee Maddy... did you? You had to admit you were human? Like the rest of us no-name putzes who buy your swill. Wow, I really feel for you.

Whatta lesbo. Well, back to the fray.
posted by wil forbis 9/2/2002 11:07:55 PM

Got some new music up over at my home page. Just click the links under the words "New Music." You'll figure it out. I have faith.
posted by wil forbis 9/2/2002 12:09:29 AM

Sunday, September 01, 2002
Hah! I'm a stinker. I discovered some guy linking to a graphic on my acid logic site. So I cleverly replaced the graphic with a new one. You can see the results here. It's the icon for the first guy who posted. (Under the phrase "We got Bush.")
posted by wil forbis 9/1/2002 07:32:30 PM

View these other exciting Acid Logic blogs...
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Other Quality Crap:
***Armored Soul - You can check out some of my music here
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* Yes, even I link to Salam Pax
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*Luke Ford, Enemy of Porn (And therefore my enemy)
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