By Wil Forbis

You want archives motherfucker? Check this shiz-nit out:
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
April 2003
March 2003
Feb 2003
Jan 2003
Dec 2002
Nov 2002
Oct 2002
Sept 2002
Aug 2002
July 2002
June 2002
May 2002
April 2002
March 2002
Feb 2002
Jan 2002
Dec 2001
Nov 2001
Oct 2001
Sept 2001
Aug 2001
July 2001
June 2001
May 2001
April 2001
March 2001
Feb 2001
Jan 2001
Dec 2000
Nov 2000
Oct 2000
Sept 2000

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Sunday, June 30, 2002
Okay - I get it. John Entwhistle is dead. That's a shame, it really is. But does that mean I have to hear a Who song coming out of every car radio, coffee house and sports bar I pass. I'm going to be sick of this shit by the time Pete Townsend dies.

I saw Entwhistle about ten years ago as part of an all-star concert they had in Hollywood. It was Entwhistle, Jeff Baxter (Steely Dan), Brian Setzer (totally plowed but still jamming on guitar) and... ummmm... some other fuckers. That was a good ass show!
posted by wil forbis 6/30/2002 03:27:43 PM

Saturday, June 29, 2002
Aww, look... it's the baby bomber. Ain't he the cutest?
posted by wil forbis 6/29/2002 03:43:09 PM

Thursday, June 27, 2002
Tarryn, your latest post about raping grandmothers is easily more offensive than my plan to have sex with my daughter when I was 40 so I could have a grandchild to molest when I'm 60. (Hey, you gotta plan for the future.)

Just for the record, folks, I don't have a daughter.

OR DO I...????
posted by wil forbis 6/27/2002 10:44:49 AM

Tuesday, June 25, 2002
posted by wil forbis 6/25/2002 07:52:07 PM

Monday, June 24, 2002
Everyone always bitches about how the movie business is run by money, but I'm all for that. I'll tell you why. You know how some actor will come on the scene and all the press says that they're the shiznit, then a few years later you're sitting around saying, "Whatever happened to...?" What happened is that money behind the movies didn't buy into all the hype and said, "Is so and so really all that or are they just another decent looking piece of ass with no talent?"

Now the system ain't perfect - like all decent Americans, I yearn for the sound of Matt Damon being sodomized by Palestinian terrorists, but it's the best we can do.
posted by wil forbis 6/24/2002 09:55:35 PM

Friday, June 21, 2002
Yep - it's official, I love the guys from MTV's "All Thing Rock." (Not in a queer way, mind you.... well, maybe just a little.) I think Benji and Joel have brought a much needed shot in the arm to musical television and their irrevence and denunciation of the status qou will be long felt in the industry.
posted by wil forbis 6/21/2002 10:49:08 AM

Wednesday, June 19, 2002
I'll tell you what I don't get! This Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. What the fuck is up with these boys... I heard one of their songs on MTV last night and it was one giant, endless, boring chorus.

I was watching MTV's All Things Rock show. Ever see it? It's got these two guys that remind me of the cast of that Tom Arnold sports show (The Best Damn Sports Show?) - at first I hated them, but then my heart softened and I found them amusing. One cannot live on hate alone. One must also have cookies! And bubble gum!
posted by wil forbis 6/19/2002 10:04:52 PM

Monday, June 17, 2002
HOLY CHRIST! Today's Salon Personals victim looks like the star of some sort of French kiddie porn movie. Check he or she or whatever it is out on the right side of this page.

Course, I guess thats sort of an oxymoron, huh? "French kiddie porn movie?" Aren't all French films pretty much much kiddie porn? Huh? Cuz those frenchies are sick fuckers.

If you like French films, you're a child molester, get it? Take your 400 Blows and get the fuck out of here, dig?!

Check it - T-dawg turned me onto this site for They Might Be Giants new album.
posted by wil forbis 6/17/2002 10:08:55 PM

Sunday, June 16, 2002
You say you want something to read? You say you want something to read? You say you want something to read? Why not try the new issue of acid logic?

If that doesn't do it, run down to your local used bookstore and pick up some back issues of SCREW magazine.
posted by wil forbis 6/16/2002 05:25:53 PM

Friday, June 14, 2002
Damn, you know what's good? Oberto beef jerky.

You know what's also good? Chicks with three nipples.

Not as good as Oberto beef jerky though.
posted by wil forbis 6/14/2002 05:20:57 PM

Thursday, June 13, 2002
Heh - I just caught up with Cody's blog. Good stuff over there.
posted by wil forbis 6/13/2002 11:31:22 PM

I keep sending away for these products that guarentee me "firmer, bigger breasts" but I still keep going home with the same floppy, small breasted chicks.
posted by wil forbis 6/13/2002 04:31:47 PM

Wednesday, June 12, 2002
You know, more and more I really find myself appreciating this Andrew WK guy. Here's a quote of his I came across. "I remember loving [certain] bands, and how awful it would feel when I was told that I didn't like them for the right reason--that I was a fake, and that this guy over there, and that person, they were a part of it because they had the right T-shirt on and they knew this, and they believed in [that]. And it's like, well, I really like the drum beat on that song, does that mean I get to be a part of it? No? How awful."

I can relate relate to that, or the inverse, being told a band you liked were lame because they weren't cool enough or punk enough or what have you. The only difference I have with Andrew is that his solution seems to be to create music that he feels is open to everyone. However, his solution should be to take the people who told him he couldn't enjoy their music and smash their heads into the sides of garbage dumpsters til their eyes pop out of their heads and brains run out of there nose. Then he should take a list I will provide him of people who angered me and together we would do the same to them. Then he should get elected President and forgive both of us for our crimes. Then he should say "Hey, If you're some faggy cocksucker who creates these obsenely narrowminded views on who can listen to what kind of music, you should go to Ohio." And once they they do he should fire all our nuclear weapons at Ohio and wipe out that species of human fecal matter.

But otherwise I really dig Andrew WK.

posted by wil forbis 6/12/2002 06:13:26 PM

Tuesday, June 11, 2002
Boy, check out this quote frome some guy who wants to be the new leader of Aghanistan: "My only wish is to bring peace in the country, national unity, reconciliation and to take the nation back to peace and integrity."

Like anyone would elect that guy!
posted by wil forbis 6/11/2002 05:00:52 PM

Monday, June 10, 2002
You know, Tarryn - you're starting to turn into the acid logic version of Cliff Clavin, John Ratzenberger's character on CHEERS. He also would sit around spouting arcane trivia of questionable merit.

Hmmm.... this could be an interesting game. Which CHEERS character do we represent? I would clearly be Sam Malone, the hypersexed piece of 100% man who could satisfy the ladies. Jesss would probably be Rebecca, the flighty, insecure barmistress. Saleeby.... maybe Carla, the embittered waitress with a heart of stone?
posted by wil forbis 6/10/2002 11:05:20 AM

Sunday, June 09, 2002
Heh, sometime's I'm a real sicko. For instance, just now I was fantasizing about having a three way with the Olsen twins. Now I hear what you're saying: "That's not so bad, Wil. The Olsen twins have turned into some choice T&A!" But I was fantasizing about the Olsen twins, CIRCA 1987!!!!


Hey, if you get some time, pick up Too-Much-Coffee-Man Magazine. Some funny stuff in there.
posted by wil forbis 6/9/2002 08:06:46 PM

Thursday, June 06, 2002
The quick-witted amoung you (already an anomaly in my readership) may have noticed that yesterday I appeared to misspell the word "because." However, you should know that "becaue" is actually the Eskimo word for "because." (I'm 1/33rd part Inuit.) If you laughed at my misspelling you are a racist. Please take your hatred elsewhere.

So anyway, Tarryn's blogging again. Sort of a mixed blessing.
posted by wil forbis 6/6/2002 03:42:20 PM

Wednesday, June 05, 2002
Hell, I don't really have anything to blog about, but I just figured I would becaue I can... and Tarryn can't!! Hah. You suck, Tarryn. Can you feel the blog impotence wash over you. What's that? I can't hear you!

Yeah, I guess when I don't have anything to say I can still mask it by making fun of others.
posted by wil forbis 6/5/2002 10:06:32 PM

Tuesday, June 04, 2002
Everyone keeps talking about Attack of the Clones and saying that you start to get an understanding of why Anakin turns to the dark side. All I see is that Anakin's a spoiled little bitch who whines when he doesn't get his way. He gets all pissy when, after dropping his light sabre, Obi-One returns it it to him. Well, damn, motherfucker, if you can't hold onto a light sabre you deserve a good slapping. Those things are expensive. The rest of the movie is "Obi One doesn't respect me, Obi-One's jealous, blah, blah." Look, we've all had hard ass teachers, but we don't all turn to the dark side. Obi-One is hard because he cares!

I'm glad I got that off my chest.
posted by wil forbis 6/4/2002 02:12:06 PM

Monday, June 03, 2002
I don't see what you're talking about Tarryn. The blog works fine. Obviously you are a lesbian.
posted by wil forbis 6/3/2002 05:38:53 PM

Sunday, June 02, 2002
Well, holy dogfuckers! You know how there's always some pinko commie telling you how much they hate America and how things are so much better in progressive European countries like France or Switzerland? (Just say 'yes.') Well this Salon article brings to light some interesting facts about these countries. Namely:

* Women only got the right to vote in Switzerland in 1971.

* Abortions are currently illegal in Switzerland.

* In France, abortions are only legal up until the 14th week.

Hah! Sound pretty progressive you friggin' Kremlin running dog! Why don't you move there and get your girlfriend pregnant and when you can't have an abortion (as you could in the old U.S. of A.) you can watch as your baby crawls out of her mouth and chokes you to death!
posted by wil forbis 6/2/2002 11:27:21 PM

I had a pretty dissappointing Denny's breakfast today. It was the All-American Scram. In the menu it looked all fluffy with lots of melted cheese and tasty bacon. But when it came it barely had any cheese on it and the bacon was that gross, fatty bacon. Bacon can really go either way.

Screw Denny's. Hail satan
posted by wil forbis 6/2/2002 09:11:42 PM

posted by wil forbis 6/2/2002 09:09:25 PM

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