Thursday, January 31, 2002
Straight up, y'all - You might enjoy the newest installment of my music review column over at diskant. I discuss several of the classic eps I picked up this year, including "Ultimate Spinach III" and Randy Newman's "Little Criminals." I also go toe to toe with any fool who mouths off about Thin Lizzy.
However, one great album that I should've reviewed is the one I'm listening to right now: The soundtrack for Fast Times at Richmont High. Primo crap, I tell ya!
Hey, anyone interested in doing some interviews for acid logic? You can check out or Interviews page to get a feel for the b-list celebrities we tend to focus on. As usual, email me here. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
posted by wil forbis 1/31/2002 09:05:47 PM
Wednesday, January 30, 2002
So let's talk more about my pain killing drugs. My doc gave me ten of these Tylonel 3's. Jesus Christ these things are worthless! I swear to god I might as well be eating a water pill. They don't do a damn thing! Tell you what, if you really enjoy this blog, send some vicadin or oxycontin. I'm dyin' ovah heah!
"Mmmm... tasty water! Just like Mom used to make."
posted by wil forbis 1/30/2002 10:50:58 PM
Tuesday, January 29, 2002
Watched "Manhunter" again last night. Michael Mann definately has a great feel for film - you really sense that he gets of on visuals the way a guy like Jimi Hendrix got off on sound. It seems like for Mann finding the right color combination is like finding a great new chord or lick. I got serious props for him.
Had crappy doughnuts for breakfast yesterday.
posted by wil forbis 1/29/2002 06:20:59 PM
Sunday, January 27, 2002
This article nails a point I've been thinking about recently. Music is a great art form for discussing grandious subjects such as love, anger, peace or war... but loses its ability when it gets down to specific subjects or people. Songs that the critique a president or discuss an environmental disaster lose their ability to be timeless and become novelties.
posted by wil forbis 1/27/2002 02:13:30 PM
I've got a root canal coming up and as such, I've got one tooth that's getting pretty sensitive. I was thinking today about how people handled dental problems before the days of dentists and pain killing drugs. What would a cave man do when his tooth got so bad he needed a root canal? I imagine he probably tried to knock the tooth out with a rock or have a friend pull it out. But that could go wrong and he could end up being in more pain, so he'd probably bash in his skull to kill the pain and his brains would fly all over his cave.
Next time you see your dentist give them a hug and say, "Thanks to you I haven't bashed my head in with a rock and splattered my brains all over my walls." Trust me, they'll appreciate it.
posted by wil forbis 1/27/2002 10:41:29 AM
Friday, January 25, 2002
Hey, Tarryn, you skanky 'ho! You're so behind the times you don't even know The Morning News interviewed me! I practically run the joint. Has anyone ever interviewed you (besides the police and whoever performs tests for mental incompentecy)? I don't think so. Who'd wanna listen to you ramble on about dinosaurs and chemical bombs and London crackheads?
I was actually totally unaware of the Trail of Dead thing though. I have better things to do then search every page on the web for mentions of them.
posted by wil forbis 1/25/2002 09:27:09 AM
Thursday, January 24, 2002
Finally...! As you may know, my computer ate satan (broke) this Chistmas, ruining my life and making me hate all things. I got it back from the shop last week, but only today really got to reload various pieces of software on it. My main concern - saving various bits of music I'd recorded seems to be solved. It's still got a ways to go before gets back to the shape it was in, and it's too late too save Christmas, but the fury and haterd I had developed towards all living things is now cooling to a pleasant simmer.
posted by wil forbis 1/24/2002 11:14:46 PM
Wednesday, January 23, 2002
While I don't agree with this guy's negative assessment, I think he nails a fundemental point about the Beatles "Sgt. Pepper's Lone Heart's Club Band" record. It is, essentially, a children's album.
posted by wil forbis 1/23/2002 11:54:15 PM
Heh... I'll tell ya, I love my niggas over at The Morning News. I especially like their little headline link: "Tina Brown worries about writers with sophisticated stories that will never be published now that Talk is gone." (Go visit the site if you want to read the article.)
You wanna know why Talk magazine failed? You really wanna know why? It was boring. Let me tell you, when I'm on the excercise machine at the gym, I'll read some pretty crappy stuff. I mean, I've read People, I've read Rolling Stone, I've read Interview, fuck, I've even read Rosie! But I could never get even halfway through an issue of Talk. I mean, look - if I published a whole magazine about what all my friends did, no one would buy it, why should they for Tina Brown? For the most part it was fawning over celebrities no one had ever heard of. Let me tell you, it...
Whoa, hold on... Uh-oh... the phone's ringing and it's Tina, y'all, Take five people...
Hello? Hey baby, yeah I'm here.
I know they cancelled it honey, that's how it goes sometimes.
What? C'mon baby... you know I loved your magazine, I thought it was the ginchiest!
That's right.... you start up a new magazine... you'll show 'em!
Sure, baby, I can come on by... let me just finish up here and I'll be right over.
That's right sugar, Daddy's comin'.
Whew... that was a close...Anyway, yeah... Talk magazine... it sucked.
At least you'll never catch me reading DETAILS.
posted by wil forbis 1/23/2002 11:40:37 PM
Tuesday, January 22, 2002
Boy - lot's of good people are keeling over lately. Anyone remember Carol Burnett's daughter, Carrie Hamilton? She was on the Fame show during it's later years and was in a film called Tokyo Pop, I believe. Anyway, she died recently of cancer at 38. I used to love watching Fame and was genuinely saddened by the report.
Also, Peggy Lee, who sang "Fever" died. When I heard it the first thought in my head was "Did she die of a fever?" Unfortunately, no, she had a non-fever related heart attack. Boy, wouldn't that have been something if she died of a fever? That'd be what you call "ironic." Yeah, it's too bad she didn't die of a fever.
posted by wil forbis 1/22/2002 11:25:07 PM
Monday, January 21, 2002
Heh - Cody's 1/20 blog is really worth checkin' out.
posted by wil forbis 1/21/2002 08:15:35 PM
You know, it seems like I'm always talking about penis enlargement pills or ejaculate producing pills, and that's pretty unfair to the gals out there. Thus I'd like to take a few minutes to discuss breast enhancing pills. Check out this new email I just received, entitled: Amazing Breast Enhancing Capsules!!!
A Bigger Bust in 60 days or we'll Pay You Guaranteed!
In just 5 seconds a day you can:
*Have Firmer, Larger Breast. A 3 Cup Size increase in just 30-60 days.
*Increase your self confidence.
*Become a better Lover.
*Improved mood, increased libido, decreased PMS symptoms
*Have Healthier skin, hair and nails.
*Have The secret to total self confidence all the time.
As we know, breast size is directly tied into the health of your nails.
All this stuff really gets me thinking: I wonder if, all across America, men and women are slipping these drugs into the meals of their lovers, in an effort to increase their sexual satisfaction. Will 35 year old men suddenly develop and extra 2-3 inches? Will moms across america suddenly gain a cup (and added nail health)? Will anyone complain?
I wonder what would happen if I gave the breast enhancer to a man. Only one way to find out!
posted by wil forbis 1/21/2002 03:04:19 PM
Sunday, January 20, 2002
Hey - those of you who read this blog regulary know that it's a place I often showcase ideas that might eventually end up in Acid Logic. If that makes you feel special, go ahead: feel special. Clearly you have descended from one of the 12 tribes mentioned in the Bible.
Anyway, you might enjoy checking out my newest video project: Crash of Doom. It's a little selection showcasing some of the stunts put on by a local Sacramentian who used to be a professional stunt car driver in Hollywood. In this video, he crashes into a van, crashes into some cars, and then rides a motorcycle through a burning fence.
posted by wil forbis 1/20/2002 10:29:52 PM
Well, damn, Tarryn... maybe you could do a Kim Wilde interview! I had no idea she lived in Britain. (Well, actually, I think you mentioned that when I was there.) Is she Britainese? Hardly seems fair... she comes over the Atlantic, sings, "Kids in America," then goes back to the land of Fish and Chips to spend the money she'd swindled out of hard working American teens.
I saw some pictures of Dale Bozzio and she also seems to have have gotten fat. Not FAT, fat, mind you, but she's definately not the svelte (spelling?) goddess she was in the eighties. Man, Missing Persons kicked some serious ass though. Everybody always knocks the music of the eighties, but I thought it was some pretty fly shiz-nit. 'Member the Buggles? I loved those guys. Or the Fabulous T-Birds. Good fucking era...
This blog was sponsered by the exciting new Fox television program: That Eighties Show. Sponser your own My So-Called Penis blog and speak to millions of today's troubled youth!
posted by wil forbis 1/20/2002 08:15:13 PM
Friday, January 18, 2002
I don't get it - after all these many months of getting spam emails promising to extend my penis, I'm now getting emails saying "Lose 6-10 inches fast!!!" Why would I want to do that? If I lost six inches, I'd only have 8 left!
Have you noticed how all the 80's rock stars are freaking out? Adam Ant attacked some dude and ended up in an insane asylum. The dude that sang "In the Big Country" shot himself. Gosh, it must be tough to be a washed up rock star. Here's the problem with being a rock star - you get a couple years of all the money, pussy etc, you can handle, but you spend the rest of your life being the puchline for society's jokes. I feel really sorry for that Big Country guy. He was probably thinking, "Ignore me, will they! I'll blow my head off and they'll be playing "In the Big Country" 24/7." However, no one gave a damn. I can only vaguely recall the chorus. "In the big country - dad, dah, dah, dah dah, something, something something, In the big country...."
I'm gonna go put on side B of my Kim Wilde album.
posted by wil forbis 1/18/2002 12:23:17 PM
Thursday, January 17, 2002
Myabe I'm missing the boat here, but while I certainly agree that Enron should be investigated, I don't see why I should have a whole of symapathy for Enron employees who lost their stock. I mean, look: Most people working for Enron were middle class folk earning upwards of 50,000$ If you're a guy earning 50,000$ a year with half a mil in stock options and suddenly you lose the stock, you're still a guy earning 50,000$ a year, which is a lot better off than most people on the planet.
This interesting Salon article about the scandal has a few bits of wisdom I contest:
"As any financial planner will tell you, undiversified investment is risky, but for many Enron employees -- like the workers at Lucent, Ikon Office Solutions and other companies that are being sued by their 401K holders -- the danger wasn't recognized until it was too late. "
Too late! What happened to common sense? What happened to "Don't put all your eggs in one basket?" The danger wasn't recognized because no one wanted to recognize it. As the article later states - "The "I don't want to miss out on a good thing" mentality ruled,""
Don't get me wrong - the Enron upper management who were able to sell off their stock while employees couldn't are definately douches and I'd love to boil them alive in front of their families but I still have no sympathy for the regular employees. Trying to protect people from themselves is doomed to failure. Let's deal with homeless and abused children before we get too concerned with yuppies blowing their pension plan. (I say that fully aware that for all purposes, I am a yuppie. But I won't go whining to the American people when I blow my savings due to investment policies that go against common sense.)
posted by wil forbis 1/17/2002 12:53:40 PM
Heh - this is worth noting: Plaque meant to honor James Earl Jones instead offers tribute to James Earl Ray.
posted by wil forbis 1/17/2002 12:25:41 PM
I just parked behind a car that had this message on the plastic trim around their liscence plate: "Is el Infierno - Sin Jesus." Anyone speak Spanish? Something like - It is the Inferno, don't sin, love, your pal Jesus."
posted by wil forbis 1/17/2002 11:04:48 AM
Tuesday, January 15, 2002
You know, sometimes the decency of your fellow man will surprise. I was thinking today about an episode that occurred to me many years ago. I had been staying at a friend's house and his garage had burned down, doing serious damage to the rest of the house. I'd spent the previous night sleeping in this smokey shell and another friend and I decided to go to McDonalds. So I walked into McDonald's looking and smelling like I'd spent the night in a burned down hovel. Soot tarnished my face and clothes. I approached the counter and ordered the only thing I could afford which was their two cheeseburger special. As the girl filled my order I saw her put a bag of fries in and I said, "Uhh, I didn't order any fries." She replied in a sing song voice, "Shut up...." and I realized she had taken pity on me. She wished to allieviate my life's troubles with the magic of french fries. "Ohh... thanks" I said as I paid (only for the burgers) and walked out. I was overcome by her kindness, that she would take pity on a stranger and try and ease his misery. Human beings aren't such a bad lot, I decided while chowing down on my food.
Of course, after that I did the only thing I could do which was report her to her manager, thereby getting her fired, but the whole experience was touching, nonetheless.
posted by wil forbis 1/15/2002 05:55:02 PM
Monday, January 14, 2002
I just had a pretty good idea for a character in a movie or story. It would be a guy who has such poor control of his temper that he's always yelling out obscenties. So in an effort to not annoy his neighbors he decides to change his obscenities to happy words, and instead of yelling out "Fucking Shit!" or "Goddamn Cocksuckers" he starts yelling out "Fuzzy Kittens" or "Happy Clowns!"
Damn, that's a great idea. Don't steal it!
posted by wil forbis 1/14/2002 12:12:01 PM
Sunday, January 13, 2002
Heh, just received this email:
Porn Actors Needed
This is a one time mailing ONLY
We have devised step by step instructions on getting into the major Porn Industry
This information has been kept underground until Now... blah, blah....
It then goes on to try and sell me some guide to being a porn actor. It's good for a chuckle, though not as good as the ad for the pill that makes you ejaculate 13 feet. Damn, if I got that pill, I wouldn't have any problems breaking into porn. I'd just walk into the auditions, fire off a couple warning shots and I'd be in!
Have I mentioned how great the cartoon show, "Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century" is? See, they bring Sherlock back from the dead and then Watson is some sort of giant cyborg. It's totally the shiz-nit! X-Men Evolutions isn't bad either, though they turned my favorite X-man, Nightcrawler, into a total fag. He's always screwing up and needing to be rescued.
posted by wil forbis 1/13/2002 09:05:39 PM
Saturday, January 12, 2002
I was at the one cool coffeshop in Sacramento - over by the Tower records on Broadway, and when I walked in the long haired asian guy who works there was talking with a State Patrol officer about kids with terminal cancer. The asian guy was saying that if he had to cut off his hair, he'd donate it to wigs that they give to the cancer kids. Then the State Patroler was discussing this fund that the Police had set up for some kid dying of cancer. It was a David Lynch kind of moment.
posted by wil forbis 1/12/2002 12:57:11 PM
Friday, January 11, 2002
Heh - here's a pretty good joke site: Jar Jar dolls used as masturbation toy. Maybe this is old news and I'm simply out of it due to my ninth month stay in the drug rehabilitation facility.
posted by wil forbis 1/11/2002 11:05:56 AM
Boy, we're you watching FRIENDS last night? They're really starting to age. It's depressing really, because as the beauty of each FRIEND fades, I'm reminded of my own fading beauty... I too will start collecting the fine wrinkles that cross Jennifer Anniston's face despite her best skin moisturizer. I too will feel the bulging paunch of the belly that is collecting on Matt le Blanc's midsection. FRIENDS is more than just a wacky sit-com... it is a testment to our own mortality!
So how many years before Bradd Pitt dumps Jennifer for a younger chick? I say, ten tops.
posted by wil forbis 1/11/2002 10:09:52 AM
Wednesday, January 09, 2002
You know, there's one point that keeps coming up in regards to the war on Afghanistan and is getting so oft repeated I'm finally driven to comment on it. The point it usually brought by some hippy pacifist or similar agents of satan who say, "Did you know that the Osama Bin laden, the man we are currently trying to destroy for his role in the World Trade Center attack, was actually trained by the CIA???!!"
Yeah, I did. So what?
To apply more depth here, there's actually three points of contention I have with this statement. As follows...
1) Why are people acting as if this is some long buried secret - I've seen more than a few pinko indie-columnists allege that the fact that we trained Osammy is some sort of shamefully hidden fact that most Americans aren't aware of. I'd like to seriously know what planet they're living on. I first recall hearing the statement on Nightline a few days past Sept 11. It's been repeated numerous times on Politically Correct. I saw it mentioned in last Suday's paper while I was having coffee at Starbucks. It's all over the media. Why are they acting like it's some big shock?
2) Who cares? - So we trained Osama. That's one reason he oughtta be thanking us instead of flying planes into our buildings. I don't think anyone can argue that kicking the Soviets out of Afghanistan wasn't a just a cause. The fact that we trained Osama doesn't in any way dismiss the fact that we should be killing him right now. It just shows that we're lousy at picking who we train. Look, I'm the first to admit that we've pretty much been on the wrong side of every war we've got ourselves involved in in Central and South America. But in Afghanistan, we were on the right side (for once.)
3) It's actually not entirely true - We actually gave aid to some fruity anti-Soviet Pakistani group and they used that money to train Osammy. There's a very in depth article about this in last month's Vanity Fair. (The one with Bradd Pitt on the cover. Boy, he's gorgeous!) Our direct involvement with Osammy was very limited.
posted by wil forbis 1/9/2002 11:18:41 PM
Tuesday, January 08, 2002
Here's the review I just posted at Amazon for the book about dwarfism that I'm currently reading, called In the Little Word
"I'll be honest and concede that I'm only about two thirds of the way
through this book, but so far it's extremely interesting and thought
provoking. It goes well beyond the subject of dwarfism to much grander
topics such as beauty and bias, but not simply as an attack on the big
bad tall people. It definately encourages a view of contemplation and
tolerance and leads me to believe that people who think this is only
relevent to dwarves, such as the first reviewer, should be stoned to
posted by wil forbis 1/8/2002 04:47:18 PM
Monday, January 07, 2002
This is interesting. I sat down at the coffeehouse today next to a guy who was doing a some very nice illustrations for a comic book. I briefly talked to him and he said the comic was a project called FAUST, something I've heard of but never read. He introduced himself as Tim and we parted ways. So I got home to check his name on the web and I realized he's Tim Vigil, a guy who did a comic called Grips, that I was a huge fan of. Grips was an utterly unapologetic super violent comic about this guy who who went around killing criminals in horrific ways. I remember one episode where he poured gasoline on this guy and then set him on fire. Then he chopped the guy's burning head off, and I remember being dissappointed because I thought he was letting the guy out of his misery.
Apparently FAUST was also made into a film.
posted by wil forbis 1/7/2002 10:34:08 AM
Saturday, January 05, 2002
I guess a lot of people would say I have some strange obsession with sex or sexual organs, penises in particular. After all, I've got this page, I'm doing a radio serial called THE MAN WITH NO PENIS, I've even got a couple film ideas that prominently involve penises. ("I Was A Teenage Penis" is one.) But I don't think my interest here is what it would seem. I think I'm more obsessed with America's obsession with sex than sex itself*. I find it amazing you can mention the word "penis" to a group of reasonably sane, educated adults and still cause them to titter with laughter. ("Heh... you said TITter, heh, heh" Shut up, Bevis.) Look, I'm not one of those guys who talks to his penis, or gave his penis a name. For the most part, I'd say I'm remarkedly disinterested in my penis. I mean... it's there, it does its things, it produces a variety of liquids... so what? Get over it, America!
* A great illustration of this point was a classic SNL sketch about ten years ago, with Kevin Nealon and Mathew Broderick at a nude beach, in which every discussion came back to penises. e.g. "I just got the pictures back from my family vacation" "Hey, you got your dad's penis" etc. There really weren't any jokes, just repititive use of the word "penis" and man, it was hilarious.
Yeah, Kevin Nealon.... it's too bad he dropped off the face of the earth.
posted by wil forbis 1/5/2002 06:34:03 PM
Thursday, January 03, 2002
One thing I did manage to do this Christmas break was get some video recording of my dad telling various stories from his life. He was in WWII and also was a foriegn correspondent for TIME magazine, so he has some good stuff. I got him on tape, talking about how, in the fifties, he tried to track down the escaped Nazi, Joseph Mengele. The way he tells it, it was something like: some guy said "I can take you to the house Joseph Mengele is living in", they went there, Mengele wasn't home, the end. But I'm thinking of branching it out to something like:
THE ADVENTURES OF YOUNG BILL FORBIS: THE STRANGE FACE OF JUSTICE.
My Dad: Give it up up Mengele! I've finally found you!
Mengele: Don't make me laugh, Amerikaner! You're finished. (Pulls out luger and fires.)
My Dad: (Dodging bullets) Don't make me do this the hard way you scum. You'll never experiment on another dwarf again. Look out!
Mengele: (Falling off cliff) Ahhhhhhh....!
My Dad: Darn it, I wanted to interview him. Well, from now on whenever I tell this story, I'll just say I never saw the guy.
That reads a whole lot better, dontcha think?
posted by wil forbis 1/3/2002 04:09:54 PM
Wednesday, January 02, 2002
I'm mentioning this just so I don't forget. The Doc Savage site. He kicked serious ass back in the day.
posted by wil forbis 1/2/2002 08:07:12 PM
Hey, if you've got real player 8 and a decent connection, I'd be interested in what you think of this. It's a rough draft of a little humor movie I'm trying to throw together. It's pretty subtle humor and I'm afraid some of it might get lost due to the fact that I appear as a grey blob in a tiny square, but I'd be interested in any feedback. You can email me via the link of to the left.
posted by wil forbis 1/2/2002 07:58:31 PM
As promised, here are my youthful gender associations for numbers.
1 - M
2 - F
3 - M
4 - F
5 - F
6 - F
7 - M
8 - M
9 - M
10 - M
11 - M
12 - F
13 - M
14 - F
15 - F
16 - F
17 - M
18 - M
19 - M
20 - F
From then on it was pretty much what the starting number was. (e.g. any number in the 2000 - 2999 range was female.) What's even weirder is that I had roles and personalities attributed to the numbers as well. For instance, 4,5 and 6 were friends, but 5 was kind of the bossy one and 4 was the tagalong friend. And 10 and 11 were best friends but kind of older and patriarchal. I think 10 and 12 were married and may have been the parents of 6 or something. Is this just me? Did other people make these associations? It'd be interesting if everyone on earth felt the same way about numbers.
posted by wil forbis 1/2/2002 12:18:18 PM
Tuesday, January 01, 2002
I woke up this morning recalling how, when I was a child, I had assigned genders to all letters and numbers. They were as follows:
A - M
B - F
C - M
D - M
E - M
F - M
H - M
I - M
J - M
K - F
L - M
M - M
N - F
O - M
P - M
Q - M (But probably gay)
R - F
S - F
T - M
U - M
V - M
W - M
X - M
Y - M
Z - F
I have no idea where I came up with this stuff and I've been thinking about it all day. This is a theory I had from an early age, so if I could figure it out, I'd probably gain much insight into human sexuality.
Notice the overwhelming maleness of the letters... It's like a bar in Alaska. I guess the female letters really had their pick of mating material. K could walk in shaking her good thing and a bunch of letters would gather around hooting and hollering. She'd sit down, pull out a cig and say, "Got a light?" Maybe P would muscle to the forefront and she'd use him for a night or two. Then, once she tired of him, she could could give M a twirl. Or get a little bi-action with B...
I'll explain the numbers next time.
posted by wil forbis 1/1/2002 09:05:12 PM
these other exciting Acid Logic blogs...
Crawling - By Tarryn Stewart
Immerse yourself in tales from across the Atlantic as Tarryn recounts
her adventures and offers helpful advice and magical incantations.
The Mirror - By Jesss Morel
Try your damndest to keep up with the visceral, tangential world of
and Vinegar - the Blog of Pete Moss
Pete Moss makes home in a world few dare tread. A place of classic
motorcycles, celebrity hobnobbing, drug fueled ruminations and an
endless love affair with female genitalia.
and Disdain - By Cody Wayne
A page devoted to daily revelatory thoughts, usually involving graphic
references to sexual anatomy and the goo that said parts squirt, tales
of real-life craziness, and often times referring to love and the
collective consciousness of the Universe...
|An Ordinary Boy - By Alex Kidd
View the flavorful writing styles of a 20 something bipolar living on the corner of insanity and absolute bliss. Don't come here looking for a
good time. Unfiltered, uncouth, and no cat pictures. (WARNING: Some porn and human deformities... often in the same image.)
|Jihad Against Cowardice: A Defense of Bill Maher's Politically Incorrect
An archived blog protesting ABC cancellation of Politically Incorrect. Contains an overview of some of the last shows.