By Cody Wayne
July 16th, 2002
a little something for the NAMBLA crowd.
RATING: See it sober… it
provides a natural injection of Viagra at times.
First of all, I’d just like
to complain. I’m an American. I’m an asshole. I have the right.
The theater I saw this film
in was a piece of shit. Yeah, so I only paid $3 to see “Y Tu Mama Tambien,”
but those guys started the film 15 minutes late because they loaded
the wrong film (how the fuck does that happen?!) and then they fucked
up 2/3’s of the way through and the film came off the reel. It took
them another 15 minutes to rethread the shit, and then they didn’t have
the picture lined up so I could see the subtitles. Those guys are assholes.
But, because this is America, I was able to get a free pass and saw
the film a second time. God bless America, people. God bless this
blessed God blessed country.
On with the review…
This film was heralded and
hailed as having all kinds of sex scenes splattered all over the place
much like “Basic Instinct”, but lemme tell ya right now, there’s about
five sex scenes and they’re all very short-lived. It’s not the whole
fucking movie, OK! Guys, you might pop a halfy and some point. Girls,
ya might get slightly dewy. That’s it, now let’s move on.
We open up to a sex scene
and a Mexican movie poster of “Harold & Maude,” a film I’d just
seen less than a week before (coincidence, I think not!) with themes
sorta/kinda resembling those in “Y Tu,” just without the huge age gap.
(Now, didn’t the Supreme Court do something to ban child porn? Right
here, I’m seeing two minors engaging in pre-marital sex. What is the
world coming to? Even “The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys” has minors
talking about and engaging in compromising sexual situations. Now,
are we gonna stand for this? This is an outrage! I will not have mine
eyes tarnished with the thoughts and visions of minors engaging in carnal
activities. Get out of my mind, devil!)
So we’ve got three main characters;
Tenoch, Julio, and Luisa. Luisa is a foxy Spaniard looking for a carefree,
damn-good time (we find out why at the end), Julio is a middle-class
Mexican adolescent, and Tenoch is his upper-class best friend. They
are bold and very free young men with nothing to think about but their
socializing, their drugs, their girls, and how they’re gonna get a car.
Not too shocking, but for some reason, I didn’t think Mexico had carefree
young people like that. I figured they were all vying for survival.
Just goes to show how exposed and cultured I am. To me, Mexicans are
people who scuttle across the border to sell me fat shrimp burritos
in tiny taco shacks called “Mariscos.”
Julio and Tenoch
have a very strong bond rooted in their mutual carelessness and love
of stupid crazy plans, like smoking some “sticky” pot and eating “organic”
E from San Francisco before going to a party. They represent that aspect
of life that cares nothing for consequences, seeking out only instantaneous
pleasures and seeking them out every chance they get, and without
harm to others… the way it should be. They represent life before
it gets an inkling of what death and regret are.
Luisa, as we
find out from the ghostly narration*, is completely alone in the world.
Everyone, relatives, friends, lovers, in her life has died, tragically
and painfully, but she doesn’t show it. She represents that aspect
of life that rolls with the punches, the kicks, the round-houses, and
the jabs and keeps walking in a full upright position, respecting life
for its majesty because of what she knows of death.
This is sheer genius! Who the fuck wrote this shit? Oh, Alfonso Cuaron
and Carlos Cuaron. Directed by Alfonso.
*Now back to that narration:
There’s a deep ghostly narration which periodically churns up throughout
the film to remind us of the fact that, although there is no direct
action taking place to SHOW us what’s going on behind the scenes of
LIFE, there are, indeed, minute yet incredible facets of life that are
rarely, if ever, talked about. I was reminded of the film “Magnolia.”
It was the idea that, below the surface of what would be considered
waking life, there are all sorts of other inner workings at play that
we’ll never know about. No matter what we experience, no matter how
full our taste of life might seem to be in any given moment, there’s
always an infinite amount of hidden layers at play that will always
remain undiscoverable. As they say in the film, “Truth is a marvelous
thing, but we’ll never reach it,” or something like that (it’s one of
their rules as friends). We just can’t fathom it all. And that’s life,
and who’s to say who’s living life and getting a full experience or
not, eh? Don’t think that just because you’re looking at a spoiled
rich 16-year-old that he or she isn’t taking life by the horns and ridin’
it through flamin’ rings. You have to be an asshole piece of shit to
think that you’re getting more out of life than anyone else. There’s
no way to prorate anyone’s lifestyle according to a quantitative measure
And this is how we learn
to hate the character Jano in less than 60 seconds and to hate him further
in the following few scenes.
One of the best parts of
the film is a scene in which the two boys express their unabashed loathing
of the United States. While Julio and Tenoch talk about the rules of
their friendship, we find that one of them is, “If you root for America,
then you’re a faggot.*” Oh my God! They’re openly unsympathetic to
the United States! Hell fuckin’ yeah! Think this film could’ve come
out even six months ago? Hell no! We ARE a bunch of whining faggots!
*"My apologies to
all who recognize the fact that the film was NOT, in fact, refering
to the United States of AMERICA. My ignorance on this subject shines
through all the guestbook entries that have been made in regards to
this shit. As I see it now, the guys in the film are actually refering
to all of the Americas and are in no way putting the US of A down."
Let me just go ahead and
put this in no uncertain terms: Go see this film. There is a disappointment
factor of 0. But of course, this is all assuming that you’re a human
thing about this film is the way everything gets fleshed out (no pun
intended). It’s one of those films that breezes by without you noticing.
The subject matter is effortless and fully satisfying, natural and mature,
eye-opening and pure.
Am I making sense
unnoticeable (except through the glazies of a skilled observer like
myself). If you pay close, unwavering attention, you’ll notice many
long, well-choreographed scenes that put “Goodfellas” ta shame. The
acting is perfect, the photography is pristine, and every mark is hit
without a hitch. Acting should be done so as not to bring light to
the fact that you’re acting. This film plays like a documentary.
The only thing I hate about
this movie is the fact that, had the gender roles been reversed, there
would have been a whole new political twist, but because it was two
GUYS who were getting’ in on this whole ultra-male fantasy deal, everything
was all right. Put two girls in that role with an older guy and that
guy would automatically be considered an ultra sleaze bag. In the case
of “Y Tu Mama,” Luisa doesn’t seem like a slut or a sleaze, but a mentor,
a guide, and more than anything, a self-made woman of strict convictions
who has a great sense of fun and adventure, as well as a terrific body.
She looks amazing in a bikini. It’s a wonder she’s not in a thong throughout
the film. Alas, the story, filming, and acting actually move the film.
Holy shit! It’s a real fucking film! AND, holy shit, get this, there’s
plenty of graphic nudity!!! Silly Americans…
The most important lesson
of the film: I’ve gotta stop jacking off so much.