presents... Interesting Motherfucker: (noun)
An individual exhibiting such uniqueness or individuality that he or she will cause a roomful of bar cronies to exclaim, "That's one interesting motherfucker!" Actual sexual relations with one's mother are not required.

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By John Saleeby
Who's funnier - Black guys or White guys? Black guys, you bet! And that's not just some hipster pose like "Black music is the only authentic music" (The only thing cornier than Black music is authentic music.) You'll get tons more laughs sittin' around with Black guys than you will with . . . Hell, ever since email came out I can't remember the last time I've even spoken to a White guy.

But who's funnier - Black comedians or White comedians? Once again I am tempted to go with the Black guys although I must admit to the same squeamish feeling I got pretending to like reggae music in the early eighties. Any list of funny Black comedians is going to be longer than one of funny White comedians, but why am I less enthusiastic about that than I was a couple of years ago? Could it be that when you take a few guys who were pretty good on "The Def Jam Comedy Hour" and put em in a big screen concert movie called "The Kings Of Comedy" they just come off looking like a bunch of dicks? Or the horrible realization that you've made as big a fool of yourself recommending Jamie Foxx's sit com to everybody as you did with Martin Lawrence's? At least "Martin" had the good sense to dump Garrett Morris after one season. Martin Lawrence! My God, Jamie Foxx will have to became a gay porn star to cause me as much embarassment as that purple assed baboon. People are telling me that Bernie Mac's new show is the greatest but, after suffering through the shows Steve Harvey, Cedric ( That's it - Just "Cedric", thank you very much ), and D.L. Hughley slapped together out of stuff they found in the dumpster outside the "Married With Children" studio I don't give a fuck. Besides, if I start talking to people about a third sit com featuring a foul mouthed Black guy, my friends will have me electrocuted.

But enough of all this negativity, who is my favorite Black comedian these days? Why, David Alan Grier, of course! You thought after reading the headline to this thing I was gonna say Bill Bellamy? What is it about David Alan Grier that makes him so much funnier than the average stand up comic? Well, having never been a stand up certainly helps. When I was a little kid I read an interview with Stan Laurel, a comedian from the old days when comedians were actually "funny", in which the comic master opined that if a young man wanted to become a comedian he should join a local theater group, play a lot of roles, study Shakespeare . . . Boy, if you think that sounds dumb now, just imagine how it went over back in the seventies when pushing your lawn mower in straight lines was artsy fartsy enough to get invited to that Friday's midnight screening of "Pink Flamingos" by the scarey guy down the street who'd just gotten kicked out of the Navy. I mean, become an "actor" to become a comedian? What kinda nineteenth century crap was that? Hey, Stan Laurel! I wanna be a jet fighter pilot! Whaddaya want I should do? Learn how to fly a hot air ballon? If you didn't have that big greasy Oliver Hardy dude hangin' around all the time I'd kick your silly ass all the way back to England! Theater - Sheesh! Don't he know that Lenny Bruce and Elvis Presley gave their lives so one day we could all be free from that Dog And Pony nonsense? You never saw John Belushi or Bill Murray lining up to audition for "The Crucible" when they were kids, right? Right? Stand up is the way to become a comedian in the Modern World, right?

What a drag to report that, once again, the Old Dead White Males knew of what they spake - John Belushi and Bill Murray, the two funniest White Males of the late twentieth century (One Dead the other Old), both got their start as teen thespians on the amateur stage and so did David Alan Grier. So, speaking as a little old man who has wasted entirely too much of his life sitting around in comedy clubs full of idiots trying to drink enough beer to make the whole thing bearable - You wanna be a Funny Boy, go be a goddamn actor. The morons you will have to put up with can't possibly be as moronistical than the ones you will have stuffed down your throat as a stand up comic and you'll come off a lot more high class talkin' to de ladies about Moliere and Chekhov than you will about Sam Kinison or Rodney Dangerfield.

Cause David Alan Grier is sophisticated like nobody's business! I could not believe the stuff I was finding out about Grier while researching this article. I thought my computer was accidentally giving me search engine results for the little flit who plays Niles on "Frasier". Not only does Grier have a high school diploma, but he's also got a Bachelor Of Arts In Radio, Television, And Film from the University Of Michigan! Shit, I couldn't get accepted by the Michigan Militia if I brought in my own semiautomatic weapons! But that wasn't enough book learnin' for David Alan Grier - He had a hunger for knowledge and culture as insatiable as Bill Clinton at an apple pie eating contest on the Fourth Of July and went on to earn his Masters from the Yale School Of Drama. YALE! Can you believe that? I can't even begin to imagine what that place even looks like - I close my eyes, think "Yale", and all I see are security goons telling me to get the hell outta there. I'm just glad he didn't go to Harvard cause I have already made a blood vow to murder the next comedy big shit that comes out of that place and I'd hate for it to be someone I like as much as Grier. (Jimmy Fallon, God! Please make it be Jimmy Fallon!)

It just gets crazier and crazier - Grier went Straight Outta New Haven to starring on Broadway in "The First", a musical about Jackie Robinson. Well, if we've just gotta have show tunes they might as well be show tunes about baseball, right? But I'm pretty sure Billy Crystal has already beat that premise to death so let's just keep moving . . . Then Grier was in Michael Benner's "Showgirls". Who the hell is Michael Bennet? This is all so new and magical to me! Ooooh, and there's a whole orchestra up in front of the stage where nobody can see it! But Grier's no candy ass chorus boy, after all those musicals he still had the testosterone to star in "A Soldier's Play" with Denzel Washington, The Most Sullen Lump O' Nothin' That Ever Was! I bet Denzel hated Grier - "How can you make jokes when Jack Nicholson and William Hurt are getting all the nominations?! How!? How!?". Then they all marched off to star in "A Soldier's Story", the movie version of "A Soldier's Play". Hey, how come they didn't call it "A Soldier's Movie"? You know, like "The Muppet Movie". They could have had a big scary Muppet in it instead of that Denzel Washington asshole. Yeah, I shoulda been a movie producer.

Grier finally quit wasting his time on that silly theatuh nonsense and settled down to really work for a living when he joined the cast of Keenan Ivory Wayans' "In Living Color". Wayans' sketch show was always presented as a Black "Saturday Night Live" which, considering that "Saturday Night Live" was mired in it's Dennis Miller-Jon Lovitz-Kevin Nealon phase at the time, wasn't just setting the bar really low, it was digging a really really really deep hole, throwing the bar in, and the burying it. But "In Living Color" was a reliably fun and entertaining show no matter what you compared it to and will probably prove to be the best thing we'll ever get out of anybody named Wayans no matter how many chances they get while people named Saleeby never get to do anything but walk around with their hands in their pockets mumbling under their breath. Grier first worked with Wayans in his really funny "I'm Gonna Git You Sucka" feature film and wisely stuck with him to become the Internationally Worshipped And Adored Comedy Titan that he is today. After Damon Wayans - who for quite a while there was the funniest man on television, which makes watching "My Wife And Kids" today a uniquely disturbing experience by even network sit com standards -, Grier was the funniest guy on "In Living Color" and it is hardly necessary to catalogue the millions of hilarious characters he played on the show such as Antione Meriweather the gay film critic, Calhoun Tubbs the ancient blues singer, Louis Armstrong with two boxes of Kellogs Special K cereal on the ends of his legs instead of feet, Wil Forbis the men's room peeper - Okay, okay, I'm making it all up. Bein' bad news is what I'm all about, I went to the Improv and I got thrown out!

But all those sketches on "In Living Color" gave Grier his Masters from the Fox School Of Comedy and he's been one of Hollywood's most dependable funny guys ever since. He was in Robin William's terrible "Jumanji", Daman Wayans' terrible "Blankman", Eddie Murphy's terrible "Boomerang", Pauley Shore's terrible "In The Army Now" - Hey, when is David Alan Grier going to get to be in a terrible David Alan Grier movie? He's paid his terrible movie dues, when is he gonna get his terrible movie break?

Maybe because he's too busy being in terrible David Alan Grier sit coms. A few years ago he had a show on Fox called "The Preston Episodes". Does anybody remember this show? What was it about? Was it any good at all? Since this is a positive article about David Alan Grier and I like him a lot let's say that "The Preston Episodes" was a really, really great show and it didn't make it because it was sooo ahead of it's time. Yeah, twenty years from now they'll show it on cable and it will be recognised as a forgotten classic! Yeah, what the hell - Nobody will remember this article twenty years from now - Let's say that. Yeah.

I sure can't say that about "D.A.G.", the show he had on NBC a year ago cause everybody in the world remembers how much thar show sucked. Wow, Grier as a Secret Service Agent and Delta Burke as the First Lady. Hollywood just comes up with one reason to appreciate Charles Manson's Helter Skelter concept after another, don't they?

But David Alan Grier is still funnier than most of the other comedians dragging their sorry asses back and forth between New York and Los Angeles these days and I guarentee that anytime you see him on some talk show you will laugh your proverbial ass off. Unless you are Richard Gere, then you will laugh your progerbial ass off.

Hopefully one day those Hollywood dopes will build a comedy movie around David Alan Grier with the same care and devotion they expend on Ben Stiller and Adam Sandler. Maybe at least a couple of people in the movie biz will stop laboring day and night on making a big star out of that goddam Owen Wilson long enough to do something for David Alan Grier, awready. Where the hell is the NAACP when you need em? Helter Skelter!! Helter Skelter!!! Until that day, Grier is up to his usual shenanigans - He played Richmond in "Richard III" at the New York Shakespeare Festival. Richmond? What was that? Kind of a prehistoric Rochester? I dunno, I just hope "Richard III" is better than "Rocky III". Grier appeared with Kevin Kline in that, which is really exciting because I'VE HEARD OF KEVIN KLINE BEFORE!! Yes, I have - He's the lucky bastard who's married to Pheobe Cates! He must be really good looking to bag a babe like that. I dunno, never seen him. Grier also replaced Whoopie Goldberg in "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum". Now, if you replaced Zero Mostel in "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum" I'd be impressed, but Whoopie Goldberg? You could replace her with a laundry hamper full of sweat socks and nobody would know the difference. That's what they're going to do now that she's quitting "The Hollywood Squares" - Put a laundry hamper full of sweat socks in the center square next to Bruce Vilanch and everything will be FABULOUS! Was "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum" part of the New York Shakespeare Festival? Mighta been.

How Weird And Wonderful that the closest American comedy has come to the high cultured egghead sketch comics of Monty Python's Flying Circus should be a Black guy! Tough guy street hooligans like Richard Pryor and Eddie Griffin are always welcome - As long as we keep em under surveillance and away from my sister - but what we really need are more crazy funny Black guys to encourage the crazy funny Black children of our nation to keep off of the streets and stay in school. Just think how much funnier Martin Lawrence would be today if only he had graduated from college. Or had at least been toilet trained.

Oh, and here's something else in my notes about David Alan Grier I can't get over - He's won the Golden Lion Award for Best Actor at the Venice Film Festival. THE GOLDEN LION AWARD! Is this a crazy world or what? I don't know what goddam movie he won it for, I musta lost consciousness from the psychological strain of trying to visualise David Alan Grier accepting such a thing as THE GOLDEN LION AWARD before I could write down the name of the movie he won it for. I bet it was "In The Army Now". Yeah, "In The Army Now" was the toast of the Venice Film Festival. Venice is in, what - Spain? Yeah, Pauley Shore and David Alan Grier are big stars in Spain, they went to Venice and had a gondola race. They stuck their butts in the water like outboard motors and released methane gas for high speed jet propulsion. Faster than the PT-109!!! What the hell do I know about the friggin' Venice Film Festival? I can't imagine such a thing anymore than Yale University or what kind of face Gwyneth Paltrow makes when you surprise her with a two hundred thousand diamond so she'll let you go to third base. Is there really such a person as David Alan Grier? Is such a thing even possible? Please report any David Alan Grier sitings to and help me make some sense out of all this. My entire concept of reality has been twisted beyond all recognition.

Editor's Note: This is the last of John's article that I can make any sense out of. According to his relatives John went eleven days without sleep, got the impression that D.L. Hughley was reading his mind, and assaulted someone in Wal Mart shrieking "EYEBALL MAN!! EYEBALL MAN!!!". He is currently in custody and working on his next article for Acid Logic.

What do you think America? Leave your comments on the Guestbook!

John Saleeby wrote for The National Lampoon while he was in high school, was a stand up comic in New York, and has contributed to the net humor zines, Campaign Central, and the legendary American Jerk. He's on medication now so he's probably a little nicer now than he was when you met him earlier. Email -

View John Saleeby's crazy web log!

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And there's even more on our main page!

Additional David Alan Grier stuff:
In Living Color:
Here's an in depth look at the show that brought Grier to the forefront.

Ten Question Interview with Grier From the proud Americans at

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