By Jack McGeehin
July 16th, 2004
Earlier today we held an on-line chat with Bill Avery, better known as the Angry Blogger. Winner of the 2004 People's Blog award for "Most Irritable Blogger," Mr. Avery fielded questions with his own peerless style. A transcript of today's discussion appears below.
Tom, Baltimore, MD: Hey, Angry Blogger. Congratulations on your People's Blog Award. I think you are great, man. Keep it up.
Angry Blogger: Yeah, well, groovy. Way to suck up. What else do you like, Tom? Meg Ryan movies? Jimmy Buffett CDs? Let me hear you say this: "Hey, Angry Blogger. I own a publishing company and I want to offer you a lucrative book contract." See, that would get me hard. Otherwise, I don't give a rat's ass what you think of me.
Dan, Patterson, NJ: There must be a million blogs out there. How do stand out from the rest?
Angry Blogger: You're right. There are a lot of blogs out there. They all suck. Blogs are crap. Most people write so fucking badly. Bad writing really pisses me off. I wrote a piece called "Learn to write, you jackass!" You can link to it here.
Susan, Toledo, OH: I've notice that you never respond to comments on your posts. Don't you value the feedback from your readers?
Angry Blogger: Most people are just windbags who like the sound of their own voice. They've got nothing useful to add to the discussion that I didn't already say. Bunch of pricks. I hate people.
Sean, New York, NY: You seem to spend a lot of time in your blog defending your views from other bloggers who take issue with your message. Your ongoing feud with the Washington, D.C. blogger "Permanent Scowl" is a case in point.
Angry Blogger: Look, my blog gets 20,000 hits a day. When you sit on top of the heap, there are always people who want to cut off your balls with their negative, mean-spirited opinions. The Permanent Scowl is an egotistical, quasi-literate, bedwetting, sycophantic troll. I have a category on my blog dedicated to his flagrant lies and slandering ways. You can link to it here.
Sandy, Tulsa, OK: With so much content on the web, do you ever feel as though your voice gets lost in the blogosphere?
Angry Blogger: I don't like words like blogosphere. Or those silly little acronyms like LOL. First of all, I don't laugh. But even if I did, I wouldn't do it out loud. I hate it when people laugh out loud at restaurants and movies. And don't even get me started with all the emoticons and smileys. Emoticon. What the hell kind of word is that, anyway? Goddamn, that stuff pisses me off. What was your question again?
Edna, Sarasota, FL: Willie, this is your mother. Always with the profanity. Why do you feel the need to talk that way? You didn't learn that filthy language at home. If only your readers knew what a good boy you were growing up. And polite. I don't know where I went wrong.
Angry Blogger: Okay, mom. You made your point. Got your little dig in. You can go back to taking care of dad now. Oh, wait. I almost forgot. Dad's dead! You drove him to an early grave with your constant nagging!!!
Tim, San Diego, CA: I've noticed that you have a 'donation button' on your home page. Do people actually send you money?
Angry Blogger: No, they don't! This pisses me off. You people come by, day after day, to read what I have to say, but you can't donate a dollar? A friggin buck to show that you value my opinion?! You give to the Cancer Society and the Heart Disease foundation while you're sitting out there eating your Big Macs. Fuck off, the lot of you! (If you want to leave a donation, you'll find the link here.)
Lisa, Roanoke, VA: What one thing has you angriest at this very moment?
Angry Blogger: Right now I'm really angry because I've got a nasty boil on my left ass cheek that makes it very painful to sit down. But if it weren't for that it would be something else. I'm just an angry guy. By the way, I've posted a jpeg of my boil here. It's already had 50,000 hits. You people have got to get a life.
Janet, Oakland, CA: You've been ranting continuously for a couple of years in your blog. How do you sustain that level of anger? Aren't you afraid you'll have a stroke?
Angry Blogger: I start and end every day with an hour of Kundalini yoga. When I breathe deeply and open up my chakras I start to relax and let go of stress. Yeah, right! Truth is, I look forward to my first stroke, Janet. It will be like a vacation compared to writing sixteen hours a day.
Permanent Scowl, D.C.: Why doesn't somebody ask the Angry Blogger why he routinely visits other blogs (including mine) and steals their ideas? Or why he can't reason his way out of a paper bag? He hasn't had an interesting post since, well, ever! Care to comment, you worthless sack of shit?
Angry Blogger: Typical, isn't it? You try to have a nice outdoor picnic and there's always some damn horse fly that comes around to suck your blood.
Tom, Savannah, GA: What do you say to the criticism of blogs that there is no editorial oversight and much of what is offered as fact is incorrect?
Angry Blogger: Eat me, Permanent Scowl. How dare you come around and disrupt an otherwise intelligent conversation with your dimwitted outlook and smarmy, holier-than-thou disposition. Everyone should take a moment and read "Fifty pins in my Permanent Scowl Voodoo doll," which can be found here.
Permanent Scowl, D.C.: Hey, dickhead, I got your link, right here. Go on, click on it!
Angry Blogger: Congratulations, schoolboy, I think you've managed to put five sentences together without a misspelling. Give yourself a gold star.
Moderator: That's all the time we have today. We wish to thank, Bill Avery, the Angry Blogger and all our readers for joining us. Any last words, Angry Blogger, before we close the session?
Angry Blogger: Yeah, don't forget to send me the t-shirt you promised. XXL.
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